


Golden Token

by snsdtwinkle



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, a bunch of featured kpop idols, but it gets better, frenemies to lovers, inaccurate representation of greek life im so sorry, jinsol cares too much, late high school to early college years, lots of swearing, no other loona members unfortunately, pls ignore any typos this is too long to fully edit perfectly, sooyoung is an idiot, this is a trainwreck, wordcount: over 20000, yes theyre in korea but yes i used the american school system
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:27:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22209406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snsdtwinkle/pseuds/snsdtwinkle
Summary: YveSoul frenemies-to-lovers AU where Sooyoung is emotionally inept and unable to articulate her feelings so she makes a lot of bad decisions through the years. Jinsol doesn't believe Sooyoung could possibly like her from all the bullshit she does but it also doesn't stop her from pining for her.I guess you could also consider it light angst with a happy ending? (Idk they get together in the end dw).
Relationships: Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Jung Jinsol | Jinsoul
Comments: 25
Kudos: 225





	Golden Token

**Author's Note:**

> Second story posted here. This story is long but I really like it.  
> Came up with it during crackhead hours and wrote it all in one go.
> 
> Cross-posted from aff from same username
> 
> Enjoy!

_“What if we kiss? So I can test if I really like girls or not?”_

_EXCUSE her? Was she hearing right?_

_Jinsol forced herself to not roll her eyes, fearing the force would leave them permanently stuck behind her lids._

_“Are you kidding me right now?” Jinsol pulled her hand back._

_Jinsol was worried out of her mind for her again and all this time Sooyoung was just being... Sooyoung._

_“Jinsol, listen—“_

_“No, Sooyoung. I’m not going to be the token gay best friend you experiment with. I knew you had been acting weird since the beginning of the semester but I didn’t think it was just you going through a phase.”_

_“That’s not—“_

_“If you want to kiss me, simply because you feel like it, then let me know. I won’t be part of—“ the blonde motioned Sooyoung’s body frame with her hand, “whatever it is you’re going through.”_

_“Will you just fucking listen to me?” Sooyoung tried to salvage the situation._

_Jinsol wasn’t having it. “You can sleep here but in the morning, go to the office first thing and tell them to give you another key. I better not find you here when I wake up.”_

Let's go back in time before everything went to shit for them. Simpler times like their high school Senior year:

"Rise and shine, sleepyhead!” Sooyoung came in blasting music from her portable speaker.

The same annoying song by Sunmi. She had nothing against the singer, but Sooyoung had played this song so much Jinsol wanted to stab her ears with pencils. Instead, she buried herself deeper into the covers. 

“Fuck off...” she groaned.

“No can do,” Sooyoung strutted across the messy bedroom to open the blinds, sunlight seeping in and directly hitting Jinsol in the eyes.

She’s never felt the urge to choke Sooyoung so much as she did at that moment.

The dancer didn’t care. “It’s picture day and what kind of a best friend would I be if I didn’t personally come to make sure you have enough time to not look like you snort meth?” She said as she made way to her wardrobe.

Jinsol wanted to stuff her mouth with a dirty sock and lock her up in the closet. “You’re not my best friend. Fuck outta my house.”

“Don’t make me get the ice water.”

_Fuck no._

"Fine!" _Fucking bitch._ "I'm up."

_Obviously_ since the intruder wasn’t going to leave any time soon.

"Put on dark makeup," Sooyoung advised. "Makes you look like a ghost but it makes my makeup stand out."

“How is it that you manage to inflate your ego while insulting people 99% of the time?” Jinsol grumbled to the bathroom.

“Just natural God-given talent.” Sooyoung picked the most revealing shirt Jinsol had, which was actually pretty tame. She should’ve brought one of her tops, which were all cropped.

“Please. If God made you then she gave up halfway and said, _fuck it, good enough._ ”

_Oh, what a fucking cunt._ “Fuck you.”

“Right back at ya. Now scram out of my room, thot.”

“You skipped History again. Mister Hwan is gonna kill you.”

“He can kiss my ass for all I care. Fucking asshole. He gave me a zero for participation just because I corrected him about the Korean War in his lecture. How does that make sense? I obviously participated!" She took a sip of her blended coffee in hopes of cooling off.

Jinsol had no comment. Knowing Sooyoung, she probably managed to insult him in five words or less rather than politely correct him.

“At least you could’ve brought me back something, you ass.”

Sooyoung stopped sipping on her drink and gave her a mocking look. “Why the fuck would I bring you anything? You want coffee, buy it yourself broke ass bitch.” 

Jinsol swore to fuck she was going to murder Sooyoung one of these days and the whole world would thank her for doing it a favor.

“Yeah? Next time you want my answers for the biology tests you can shove that large Frappuccino up your ass and ‘round the corner. Get your ugly face away from me.”

The irony of Jinsol’s personality being all over the place yet being on top of her studies and Sooyoung being well-put-together but not giving a shit. Sooyoung was the perfect example of “work smarter, not harder.” It annoyed Jinsol to no end but it was none of her business how Sooyoung ran her life.

Finals were next week and Jinsol was locked in a study room, her nose buried deep in her books, while Sooyoung was out probably tormenting animals and making children cry.

Speaking of the (she-)devil, her royal pain just barged in the room uninvited. 

“Here.” 

Sooyoung threw a yellow manila envelope on the table Jinsol was studying in, perfectly landing atop her organized flashcards and making them fly all over the place. Jinsol was ready to put her foot up her ass. She had to memorize over a hundred human bones in _three days_ according to upper and lower extremities and half of those bones had just been scattered across the floor.

“I swear I’m gonna _kill_ you.”

Jinsol grabbed the offending item that ruined her study session and was so close to ripping it in half. 

“The fuck is this?”

“Open it, you whiny bitch. You’re welcome.” Sooyoung said as she plopped down on a chair and crossed her legs.

The AP student took out the contents angrily but her frown disappeared and was replaced by a face of bewilderment when she read the document over. Jinsol looked up astonished.

“Sooyoung, _what the fuck_ did you do? How did you get this?”

Sooyoung gave her a triumphant grin. “You know, the new student-teacher runs your class... And he's not bad-looking,” she trailed off on purpose.

Jinsol quickly put two and two together. 

“ _Oh no_. No no no no. No, you _didn’t_.”

“He’s 24, I’m 18, it’s fine.”

Jinsol covered her mouth in disbelief. “Sooyoung, you’re out of your fucking mind. _Oh my God._ ”

As if they both didn’t already know that. Satan’s spawn? No. Sooyoung was the devil herself.

"You could get in so much trouble—"

“But I'm _not."_ She reassured."Listen, I need you to distract Yeonwoo at Jason’s party so I can sleep with her boyfriend and get my revenge. And you can’t do that if you’re stuck studying for the weekend.”

_Of course._ Sooyoung never did anything without an ulterior motive. There needed to be something in it for her if she ever did anything for Jinsol. ' _Out of the goodness of her heart'_ was not a concept for her.

Sooyoung continued with her angry rant. “The bitch wants to steal my dance captain position? She’s funny if she thinks she’s getting away with it scot-free.” 

Jinsol didn’t care if she hadn’t done it with her in mind though. She was very used to Sooyoung's antics. She was quick to pack her things and get the hell out of the library. 

Who needed to study when Sooyoung had just given Jinsol the answer key to her Human Anatomy final next week?

“Jinsol, go to the dance with me.”

The blonde snapped her neck back so hard she almost got whiplash.

“Weren’t you going with _what’s-his-face?_ Yeonwoo’s ex? You're dating him, no?”

“We broke up.” Sooyoung was short to the point.

“I’m sorry?”

“He had a small dick.”

“I DON’T WANNA KNOW.” 

Jinsol _really_ didn’t need to know that. Ew. One of the things about Sooyoung though is that she uses humor to cope so half of the time she can’t tell when she’s being serious or when she’s just messing.

She wouldn’t mind going with Sooyoung but the thing was—

“I already have a date.”

Sooyoung blinked back. “Oh.”

—and she didn’t want to be her backup plan. She was always second place and she was tired of it. Why couldn't she put her first for once?

“When did you—? How—? Who?” Sooyoung couldn't even articulate properly.

Well... it was Jinsol's time to come clean. Maybe now her suffering could end.

“Saerom.”

Sooyoung scrunched up her face. “Who?”

“Lee Saerom.”

Sooyoung was still drawing blanks. “That sounds like a girl’s name.”

“It is.”

Sooyoung paused.

Jinsol blinked back.

The two held a staring contest for a few seconds in silence. The blonde could practically see the wheels turning in Sooyoung’s head until an imaginary lightbulb lit up above her.

“You like girls?”

“Mmhm.”

“And you didn’t tell me?”

Jinsol shrugged. “I’m telling you now.”

It's not like it mattered. 

“Yeah because I— Wow... alright.” 

Sooyoung suddenly turned away and just stared off into space blankly.

Jinsol didn’t care what Sooyoung thought of her. It’s not like they were the _best_ of friends. Their friendship was ' _complicated'_ for a lack of a better word. Not like Sooyoung was currently in her room, wearing borrowed pajamas because she decided to stay over last night for a movie marathon. And also because she came over whenever she was hungry and no one was home and hadn't bothered to leave her food.

Jinsol was ready for all the stereotypical questions honestly. She’s been gathering strength over the years for this moment. Things like: _Are you sure it's not a phase? How do two girls even do it? Hey, then am I your type?_ Jinsol was ready to shut her down.

But the only thing Sooyoung said was, “Well that certainly explains all the pictures of girls you have in your camera roll. _Real_ subtle.” She smirked.

Jinsol was ready for anything... except for that.

_When did she even—!?_ “DON’T GO THROUGH MY PHONE.”

They weren’t best friends, yet they had stuck together since high school.

They weren’t best friends, yet they were the first the other texted when something happened.

They weren’t best friends, yet they decided to go to the same university.

Or more like Sooyoung had followed her. Jinsol had already decided she wanted to attend Korea University since her Sophomore year but Sooyoung? That was a surprise. She thought she would choose SNU (Seoul National University) because, honestly, they were known for being a party school. It fit Sooyoung's image.

But turns out Sooyoung is a third-generation legacy at KU. Her two older sisters hadn't attended here but they had graduated from other top schools, and with honors too. Sooyoung never failed to surprise her. 

“What’s your major again?”

Sooyoung remained quiet for some time as she unloaded her suitcase from the car. Their parents decided they should all carpool.

“Forensic Science... and Biology.”

If Jinsol was shocked she didn’t show it. She merely raised a brow in interest.

“I want to be a forensic science technician.”

Yup, Sooyoung never failed to surprise her. 

A double-major, _damn_. Jinsol almost didn’t recognize the girl in front of her. Maybe Sooyoung hadn’t followed her after all. What else was Sooyoung hiding that she didn't know about?

College life wasn’t much different from high school except that they saw each other less. Jinsoul was also a Biology major but since Sooyoung was a double-major she took classes all over the campus rather than in just one building. 

Sometimes they saw each other, sometimes they didn’t. It’s not like they made an effort to constantly be in each other’s orbit.

They were also in the same dorm building but on different floors. Sooyoung came over a couple of times at the beginning of the year but as time passed, she stopped coming altogether. Jinsol forced the feeling of dejection to the back of her mind.

Why would she even care if Sooyoung distanced herself? It was _whatever._

Time flew and in the blink of an eye, the end of the semester was upon them. 

College around this time was crazy. It wasn’t called _Hell Week_ for nothing. Finals were coming and everyone needed to study, including Jinsol. She wasn’t expecting to cross paths with Sooyoung in the library but here she was, four textbooks in front of her, laptop open, and flashcards sprawled everywhere.

Jinsol got hit by a sense of deja-vu. This could be the perfect time for her to get revenge. Although, _yes, it was the library,_ it was also downstairs, and downstairs was LOUD. If someone wanted quiet study time, that’s what upstairs was for.

That's why when Jinsol came over and— with great satisfaction— threw her backpack on the table and made a loud crash, no one batted an eye. The action had also made Sooyoung’s flashcards scatter all over. Oh, revenge was sweet indeed. 

“Who the fu— Of fucking course it had to be you. Hey.”

“‘Sup?” Jinsol pulled out a chair and sat down across from her.

“Stressed and sleep-deprived.” Sooyoung gathered her cards back like nothing.

Odd. Jinsol was expecting a stronger reaction.

No snarky comebacks? No dark humor? Not even a glare? She must _really_ be tired.

“That’s a whole ass mood. I haven’t slept in two days.” Jinsol said back.

“Sleep? I don’t know her.” 

The two laughed. 

It was almost natural how they could act the same around each other as if no time had passed. For the first time in her life, Jinsol was seeing Sooyoung without makeup and wearing something that wasn’t breaking any public decency laws.

“How are you coping?” Jinsol gave her a tight-lipped smile.

She knew Sooyoung wasn’t used to this much studying if her appearance wasn’t clue enough.

Sooyoung knew what the blonde was trying to do and she wasn’t here for it.

“I’ll be fine, dipshit. Save the pity-party for the drop-outs. I’m not gonna shoot heroin or jump off a building any time soon.”

_There’s the Sooyoung she knew._ “Well, _fuck me_ for caring.”

“You care about me? _Aww._ ” Sooyoung faked being touched.

Jinsol almost got up and left the table.

“Now shut up so I can finish this stupid study-guide.” Sooyoung went back to typing away on her laptop.

Jinsol gaped. “They gave you guys a study guide? Lucky.”

Sooyoung looked back at her with that mischievous grin. Oh no. “They gave _me_ a study guide.”

_Oh, not this shit again._

“You crazy psycho _bitch_.”

“ _Chill._ It was the TA. The professor could be my grandpa.”

“ _Stop_ hooking up with people in exchange for grades.” Jinsol hissed. She looked around warily. “You’re gonna get caught one of these days.”

“It’s a fucking study guide, not the answers. Calm your tits. Besides,” Sooyoung randomly pointed behind her at no one in particular, “they won’t say anything.” She then pointed at herself, “I won’t say anything.” Lastly, she motioned at Jinsol.

The blonde made a face. “Who the fuck am I gonna tell?” She smacked Sooyoung’s hand away.

“It’s settled then.”

Settled. What exactly? 

Jinsol sighed. She knew she wouldn't convince Sooyoung and also couldn't change her from night to day so she let her be. It's not like this behavior was unusual from her. But even though their interaction had been like any other, something about it felt off.

Jinsol wondered if Sooyoung felt it too or if she was the one going insane from the lack of sleep.

That day served as an unspoken tradition for them. Once a week they would meet in the library to study together. Well, not exactly together since they were taking different courses, but just be among each other’s company.

Sooyoung had other friends and so did Jinsol, but it was fascinating how the two always came back to each other to that sense of familiarity. Most of the time, it was Sooyoung the one that looked like she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and when that happened, Jinsol was ready with a bottled iced coffee she had gotten minutes before walking in the library (but pretended it was a couple days old).

It served to distract the double-major for a few minutes and that’s all Jinsol wanted. She wasn’t seeking her appreciation or for Sooyoung to return the favor. It was just that... a stressed Sooyoung stressed everyone else around her.

Yeah, that was it. It’s not like she _cared_ about her or anything.

“This is the third time,” Sooyoung commented as she glared at the coffee yet downed half of it at once.

She never said thank you. Said she didn’t like to give people the power of owing them. It's not like Jinsol gave her free shit because she wanted a half-assed _thank you_. She never asked her to.

“Yeah, well, maybe if you had _your shit together_ I wouldn’t have to act like your mom and feed you liquid caffeine every week. You’re like an addict.”

Sooyoung rolled her eyes. “Says the one that pops pills like they’re candy.”

Jinsol flared her nostrils at the insinuation. “It’s _acetaminophen_ and it’s for _headaches._ ”

“Okay, druggie. Don’t know, don’t care.” Sooyoung threw her head back for a second swig and finished the coffee.

Jinsol gave up. “When was the last time you ate actual food?”

Sooyoung barely looked up. “What day is today?”

“Sooyoung!”

“Okay, okay. _Fine_. I had some leftover pizza yesterday.”

“And today?”

“I’ll eat later.”

Jinsol got up at once. “Why the fuck do I always have to act like your mom? It’s like you’re twelve years old, _for fuck's sake.”_

She packed her bag and left, leaving Sooyoung behind full of bewilderment.

She didn’t know why the blonde snapped. She didn’t do anything! _What the hell was her problem?_

_Whatever._ She didn’t have time to contemplate Jinsol’s little temper-tantrum. She went back to her books. She still had 50 pages to read and an 8-page report to submit all for tomorrow.

About thirty minutes later, Jinsol was back and she threw a bag on the table, hitting Sooyoung square in the chest.

“ _Ow._ The hell?”

“You’re welcome.” Jinsol sat back down and took her laptop out to take an online quiz. 

Sooyoung recognized the familiar logo on the paper bag and looked inside to inspect its contents.

“What the fuck is this?” 

She wasn't asking literally because _no shit, it was food_. But why? WHY had Jinsol gotten her food? 

Jinsol didn’t say anything back merely because if she did, Sooyoung would make a big deal out of it, but she had to at least make one thing clear between them.

“Look, I honestly don’t care what you do with the food. Throw it away, give it to the homeless, burn it, shove it up your ass, I really don’t give a shit,” She tried to be indifferent like Sooyoung, she truly did but— “I would prefer it if you ate it though,” she wasn’t Sooyoung.

She cared too much. Always had. And in the end, it was always her that got hurt because of it.

Sooyoung couldn’t believe the girl. This wasn’t something they did for each other. Their " _friendship”_ wasn’t based on kind gestures and affection. This was _disgusting_ and... and... it made Sooyoung’s heart flutter in ways that it shouldn’t.

“What am I, _your girlfriend?_ Stop getting me shit. What do you want, money?”

Jinsol’s patience was growing thin. “I don’t want _anything,_ Sooyoung. Just _eat_ the damn sandwich before I shove it down your throat.”

The blonde thought she had won when Sooyoung didn’t say anything back. She could get back to her reading quiz with the sound of student chatter and a crumbling sandwich wrapper as background noise.

Sooyoung took a bite and chewed for a while. “You could’ve at least added avocado, broke bitch.”

Jinsol slammed her hands on the table. “ _Motherfucker._ Shut up!”

They had survived their Freshmen year. Jinsol with decent grades (she didn't like to brag but 3.9 GPA) and Sooyoung with a 4.0 (that she kept rubbing in her face every five minutes). The two went back home for the summer and they carpooled together because might as well. Saves either one money.

Unsurprisingly, Sooyoung went to meet with old High School friends from her dance team while Jinsol stayed home and spent time with her family. She didn’t have anyone close enough to see again (or want to see again if she was honest). About two weeks later Sooyoung came to her doorstep, short shorts and a crop top.

Jinsol tried not to stare. In comparison, she was in a t-shirt, long enough to seem like she didn’t have shorts on, and her hair tied up in a high ponytail with a scrunchie.

Sooyoung couldn't help herself. “Hey VSCO girl.”

Jinsol tried to close the door on her face but Sooyoung propped the door with her foot. The blonde had no choice but to open the door back up.

“What do you want?”

“Here.” Sooyoung raised her arm to show a plastic bag from their local convenience store and Jinsol rose a brow.

The brunette shoved the bag at Jinsol’s chest. “Cut it for me,” she simply said and pushed her way inside.

It was a watermelon.

“What am I, your maid? Cut it your damn self!" Jinsol called behind her, as she closed the door. _"Why the fuck are you in my house? Get out!”_ Her voice could still be heard from outside.

The two were in Jinsol’s room, a plate of cut-up watermelon slices between them. Jinsol had one while Sooyoung downed the rest.

“It’s so hot in here,” Sooyoung complained as she spat the seeds into a napkin in her hand.

Her bedroom window was open with a fan cranked up to the highest setting, which really didn’t do anything. If felt like the heat was being blown in rather than being let out.

Jinsol was busy reading a webtoon on her phone to even mind the heat. She had had her eye on it since last semester but never had the time to start it. Now was her time to catch up, at least that was until Sooyoung came in and ruined the quiet afternoon she had planned.

“Hey, Jinsol.”

“Hmm?” Jinsol grunted back without looking up from the screen.

“Did you ever hook up with a girl this past year?”

Jinsol looked up from her phone with her brows furrowed. She was more confused rather than offended. Out of the two, Sooyoung had always been the more vocal one about her sex life. Jinsol never liked to kiss and tell and Sooyoung had never pried. What had spurred the sudden change?

“Why?” Jinsol asked, still not looking at her.

Sooyoung finished eating all the red from the fruit and set the rind down on the plate. She then set the plate aside on the nightstand before leaning closer to Jinsol on her stomach. She was looking up at her with that dangerous grin.

“Just wondering if you’re still a virgin.”

Jinsol finally looked away from her phone only to come eye to eye with mischievous brown. The blonde tried to sound calm.

“I don’t see how that’s something you need to know.”

“You’re still a virgin, got it.” Sooyoung chuckled and turned on her back, letting out a satisfied sigh.

Jinsol wondered what she ever did to deserve this? She debated on whether she should just leave Sooyoung here and go outside to the patio, far away from her. She was so annoying for no _goddamn reason_.

“Are you waiting for that special someone?” Sooyoung questioned her in a mocking tone.

Jinsol's patience was growing thin. “I thought you were dropping the subject?”

“I never said that.”

The blonde tried to go back to reading.

“Gonna wait till marriage?”

“ _Fucking A_ , Sooyoung! Drop it! Who I fuck is none of your business!”

Sooyoung got the reaction she wanted. She had her fun. “Alright, alright. Calm down. I don’t give a fuck if you stay celibate or become the campus cum dumpster. I was kidding, grow a pair.”

But Jinsol didn’t want to calm down. For some reason, Sooyoung had hit a nerve Jinsol didn’t even know she had. “Why? Are you trying to live one of your dirty fantasies through me?”

Sooyoung wasn’t expecting that from her. Jinsol was usually tame with her comebacks. “Gross. As if.”

“No. Tell me.” Jinsol set her phone down and rolled over to straddle Sooyoung by the waist. “Is there something you’re hiding?”

_What the hell._ “Get the fuck off me.” Sooyoung tried to get up but Jinsol held her down by the wrists.

“Come on, Sooyoung. Since you want me to put all the cards down on the table how about you do too? Your Bio-Anthropology TA was a girl. The one you said gave you the study guide.” Jinsol’s voice dropped dangerously low. “How _convenient_ you forgetting to mention that."

Sooyoung was stunned to silence.

If Jinsol was completely honest, she found out by accident.

She had emailed the professor questions about his course, to see if it was something Jinsol should take related to her major, and the man had told her to see for herself and come in for half of a lecture.

_(Jinsol came and sat at the very back, not knowing it was the class Sooyoung was in._

_She saw the brunette sitting among the front three rows and when the class finished she got up and left from the opposite exit, having no clue Jinsol had even been there. Jinsol wanted to catch her to say hi but that wouldn't be possible anymore._

_When everyone got up and left, Jinsol went up to the professor thanking him for allowing her to come in and giving her thoughts about the lesson. Very interesting stuff and she loved his teaching style. And no, she wasn't being sarcastic._

_Right when she was about to ask a few more questions, a girl interrupted them. Small and cute. A smile that could make anyone fall in love at first glance. Too bad Jinsol had a type. She liked them a little taller and a little mean._

_“Professor, I finished grading the tests.”_

_Both of them turned to look at the girl. “Thank you, Wendy.”_

_He then turned back to Jinsol. “Wendy here is my TA.” The professor introduced her._

_“Son Wendy, Senior, nice to meet you.” The girl bowed and gave her a welcoming smile._

_Jinsol fought with herself to keep her face neutral. The wheels in her head were spinning until the pieces came together perfectly._

_“She can answer any more questions you have about the course. I, unfortunately, am out of time. I have another class to teach on the other side of campus.”_

_“Yeah, I have a free hour right now. We can head down to the student commons if you have anything else you're curious about.”_

_Jinsol was surprised at the discovery she just made and she took the Senior on the offer ‘cause why not? (Not like she wanted to study the first girl Sooyoung hooked up with). This was a course she was genuinely interested in, so among the many questions she asked away, she saved the best for last._

_“And for tests, are study-guides provided?”_

_Wendy shook her head. “No, unfortunately. But the professor always has ‘Things You Should Know’ at the end of his slides which is basically the same thing. If you follow those I guarantee you’ll be fine.”)_

Jinsol pressed her weight on Sooyoung, knowing she couldn’t get out of this situation both figuratively and literally.

“I wonder how long you’ve been getting yourself off thinking of girls until, finally, you decided to cross over?” Jinsol delivered the killer punch.

Sooyoung could feel her heart rate picking up. “I’m not a muffin-muncher like you. I’d rather slit my wrists.”

Jinsol only tightened her hold. “But then how will I pin them over your head and hear your needy moans? If anyone is going to make marks on this pretty body of yours it’s going to be me.” 

She ran a teasing hand down her torso and scratched her across the abdomen for emphasis. Only strong enough to leave red marks that would fade in a few minutes. 

Sooyoung, for once in her life, was speechless.

"If you beg me then maybe I'll let you go."

There was fear in her eyes and something else Jinsol couldn’t recognize. Her breathing had surely picked up, she noticed.

Alright, the game was up. She let go and got off of her. Returning to her previous spot and going back to reading like nothing. She wasn't serious and didn't mean anything she said.

“Does that answer your question?” Jinsol hummed.

She was offended Sooyoung would ever think of her as a virgin. The _audacity._

Maybe it was because it was so out of character of her that she truly had scared Sooyoung, but the brunette had gotten up and scrambled out of her home with a petty excuse. Jinsol felt a little guilty but at the same time, served her right. Finally, she could read in peace. They spent the rest of the summer without seeing each other again until it was time to go back to KU.

Their families arranged for them to go back together. They really thought they were best friends or something. Both of their dads drove them back, while the two stayed silent in the back for the entire car ride.

Jinsol used the excuse of reading a book but Sooyoung? The girl was just blankly staring out the window. To be honest, the initial surprise had worn off. Jinsol didn't care if Sooyoung slept with a girl. She most likely only did it for the grade.

It didn't automatically mean she liked girls in that way, it could've very well been a one-time thing. But she didn't have the courage to tell her. Talking about topics like these and being "understanding" with each other wasn't in their dynamic.

They managed to survive two hours of torture without saying a word to each other, the older men oblivious as they had spent the whole way chatting up a storm with each other. Catching up on life and what not.

They both helped their daughters with their bags and other belongings when they reached the dorms, the two girls having gotten new sleeping arrangements. Now they stayed on the same floor but still different rooms.

“Take care, Sooyoungie. Tell Jinsol if you need anything and if she doesn’t help you, let me know and I’ll set her straight,” Jinsol’s dad told her.

Right after he said that, Sooyoung had the dumb thought that nothing he did could possibly make his daughter _straight_ , but then she remembered they weren't exactly talking and the joke wasn't as funny anymore.

She gave him a polite smile. “I will, mister Jung.”

Meanwhile, Jinsol was getting a talk of her own. She wasn't as familiar with Sooyoung’s dad since she didn’t come over to Sooyoung’s house as often as the other had in the past couple years, but she knew he was a nice man.

“Please take care of Sooyoung, Jinsol. She’s a free-spirit. A bit hard to tame, but she’s got a good heart.”

The blonde wanted to argue with his resolve but didn’t because that wouldn’t be polite. “I’ll have that in mind, sir.”

Why were they acting like they were each other’s in-laws? She could also see her dad talking to Sooyoung down the hall from the corner of her eye. _Blergh._ Both men finally left and the two girls retreated to their respective rooms without giving each other so much as a passing glance.

With no one's company, Jinsol contemplated the possibility of them _actually_ getting together while staring at the ceiling.

Her and Sooyoung dating. She had to laugh.

She tossed and turned in her new bed, trying to get comfortable.

Not in a _million years._

_(Sooyoung would never look at her that way...)_

Jinsol forced herself to take a nap.

No more study meetings.

Zero shared classes between them.

They didn't come over to each other’s dorm room anymore.

Where they even still friends?

Jinsol was busy with classes and this time she joined a club. Book Club. It suited her. They met once a week at the campus coffee shop to discuss the book of the week. Thing was, you didn’t have to finish reading it. You could read anything really, there weren’t any rules. It was a very free club.

So far there were five members, Jinsol and four other girls who were respectively older. Jinsol was the youngest and only Sophomore.

“So what did you all think about this week’s book?” One of the Seniors and president of the book club, Kim Yongsun, asked.

“It sucked,” Sooyoung— PARK Sooyoung— a Junior who liked to go by Joy, chimed. “Why do you always assign cheesy romance novels? Can we get something else, please?”

“Okay Sooyoung—“

“Joy.”

“Okay, _Joy,_ ” Yongsun didn’t take offense. In fact she looked really happy that Joy had taken initiative to finally share her own opinion. “What do you suggest?”

The girl came prepared because from her bag she took out a list with at least fifty book titles and authors.

“I’ve separated them by genre. Mystery, Horror, _Romance for Yongsun_ , Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Non-Fiction, Historical Fiction, you name it. There's a bit of everything. I’ve also read all of them.”

All the girls were impressed.

Another one of the girls— Kim Hyunjung. Senior— took over the list. “We can all pick something from the list and then give a summary next week.”

“I like it,” Kim Jisoo, a Junior and last member of their club, added.

Yongsun clapped her hands. “Okay, then that’s a plan. But since we’re all here we can just hang,” Yongsun leaned back on her seat and took a drink of her coffee. “We can talk about anything.”

Thing was, the book club wasn’t just about literature, they were all also _very_ into campus gossip. Jinsol never stuck her nose in but she did stay and listen because what else did she have to do on a Thursday afternoon?

“Did you all hear what happened at last week’s party?” Joy didn’t waste any time. “The one Alpha Kappa threw?”

“Yeah, wasn’t it for charity?” Jisoo said back.

“How one of their members got kicked out?” Hyunjung joined in.

_“What? No way.”_

“Okay, so they’re _really_ strict. They can have parties but girls can’t sleepover, HOWEVER, one of the frat boys had a girl over and he got caught. They kicked him out on the spot.” Joy explained.

“Who?” Yongsun asked.

“Jeon Jungkook. His parents are PISSED. But the highlight is that they’re blaming everything on the girl, saying how it’s all _her fault_ and she seduced him, _blah blah blah._ There was this big scandal down at the social activities office.” Joy took a break to ironically sip on her (iced peach black) tea.

“Who was the girl?” Jisoo asked.

“That’s the cherry on top though," Joy continued. "Jungkook got in on a _sports scholarship_ and they’re trying to pin the girl as some bad influence but she’s a double-major. Biology and something else. Rumors are she’s got a 4.0 and she’s _really_ pretty. Heard she’s just a Sophomore too.”

Jinsol felt her stomach drop. That description hit _way_ too close to home.

“Don't know her name though, the school is keeping her identity confidential. At least the administration isn’t being ridiculous and misogynistic for once, but because Jungkook is in the soccer team with nothing else to his name besides being part of the fraternity, they wanna do anything to have their revenge on the girl as if it wasn't his fault too."

“Poor her. Can’t imagine the stress levels she must have going on. And the party was for charity too? A member getting caught dicking a girl when they’re supposed to be working for the greater good. _Shit._ ” Jisoo brought her drink up for a sip.

Jinsol couldn’t stay and listen anymore so she got up to leave. She said a quick excuse of having forgotten she had a paper due in a few hours and left.

The members of the Book Club looked at her until she was out of sight.

_“Jinsol never joins in on the tea.”_

_“Good. She shouldn't honestly.”_

Jinsol couldn’t reach her dorm fast enough. She skipped her room and went straight down the hall for Sooyoung’s instead.

She knocked but no one answered. 

“Sooyoung, open the door!” And this time she proceeded to knock without a halt.

She could stand here all day and all night until Sooyoung opened her door.

Instead, a girl that was not Sooyoung stood in front of her, rubbing the sleep off her eyes. She was so tiny.

“Sooyoung is not here. I’m her roommate Lee Luda.”

Had Jinsol woken her? _Fuck._

“I’m so sorry. Do you perhaps have any idea where she could be?”

The girl looked at her with scrunched eyes, like the light was too bright. “No clue. This whole week has been a hit or miss. Sometimes she comes back to sleep, sometimes she doesn’t. Our schedule's don't really match. I barely see her.”

Jinsol knew this couldn’t be good. Sooyoung did crazy things whenever she was stressed.

“Okay thank you. Sorry for bothering you. I’m Jinsol, Sooyoung’s friend," _or she hopes she still is._ "My room is right down the hall next to the vending machine.”

“Nice to meet you Jinsol. Good luck with finding her.” And with that said, she closed the door.

Jinsol rushed down the hall, came into her room like a hurricane and threw all her belongings on her bed. She came back out with her keys, her phone, and her wallet.

That Luda girl said Sooyoung had been weird all week and according to what Joy said was the date of the party, everything matched.

_Fuck fuck fuck!_

Where was she? And why hadn’t she told her any of this?

Jinsol left the dorm building and headed to the library, all the meanwhile dialing for Sooyoung and her not picking up. It was ringing, but the phone always went straight to voicemail.

“Sooyoung, where are you? I’m looking everywhere for you. Call me back!” Jinsol left the voice message and hung up only to try through texts this time.

She spammed Sooyoung but again, no reply. None of the messages had been read. What the hell, Sooyoung wasn’t one to ignore texts and calls during the day. This only made Jinsol’s worry escalate.

She reached the library and like a hound searching for its prey, she ran up and down all the aisles looking for the brunette. Thursdays were when they used to come to the library to study last year, but not anymore. But just maybe Sooyoung kept the tradition?

It didn’t seem like it though. Jinsol checked all of the first floor and nothing. She climbed up the stairs to the second floor next and did another thorough search. Nothing again so she went to the third floor and repeated the process. _Nada._ The library had five floors total and by the time she reached the highest floor she was out of breath and couldn’t feel her legs.

Sooyoung wasn't in the fourth floor so this was the last option. Jinsol's never even been to this part of the library. It was the section that contained their oldest books and records. There was barely anyone here except for a couple of people that were reading quietly by the windows, this was the ultimate quiet floor.

She checked every spot and section but nothing. Sooyoung very possibly wasn’t in the library at all and Jinsol had wasted her time. That didn't bother her though, what had her restless was still not knowing of Sooyoung's whereabouts. 

_Had she gone to her classes today though?_

_What classes did she have this year?_ Jinsol should’ve asked when they started the new year.

She could check the buildings her classes were at but she was blank. She was a Biology and Forensic Science primary study, but that didn't automatically mean she would always be in the buildings those classes were held at.

Okay. Stop. Breathe.

She was about to have an anxiety attack if she didn't calm down.

_Think Jinsol, think!_

She was a double major, in Biology and Forensic Science, yes. BUT what if she wasn’t even attending physical lectures? She could be taking online classes and it wouldn't matter!

_FUCK._

Jinsol felt like she was about to have a mental breakdown. She leaned on a wall and slid down to the floor defeated, hiding her face in her hands and trying to not break down. She didn’t know anything about Sooyoung besides her dorm room and the severity of this was hitting her full force.

What if something serious happened to her and she was here absolutely blank? She didn’t know what her classes were. What kind of friends she had. If she was part of any clubs. She knew nothing about her schedule. She basically had no clue about her life after always being there for each other.

It’s true they had been awkward since the summer but Jinsol still cared. She cared _too_ much, maybe even in a way that wasn't completely platonic. She didn’t think Sooyoung would be having a hard time and not tell her, that’s not how things between then worked. Whenever Sooyoung had something going on she said it like it was, and Jinsol was always there to listen and help.

If she was having a hard time because of some douche jock, she expected her to come knocking on her dorm room and barge-in uninvited to vent, throw several insulting expletives at him and the situation, and then plan her revenge, whether it was with or without her help. That’s the Sooyoung she knew.

But now she was gone. She didn’t know where she was and she didn’t know where to find her, and it felt like half of Jinsol’s life was suddenly missing and things just didn’t feel right. It was like she was walking upside down or she was living in an alternate universe. A universe in where Sooyoung never existed.

Maybe she was being dramatic but she didn't care, she got like this whenever she got lost in her feelings for Sooyoung. Because why else would she react this way if she didn't like her? Jinsol had been a fool _for years_ for crushing on the brunette knowing full well that her feelings would never be reciprocated.

She must’ve spent a long time in the library drowning in her self-pity because by the time she looked up from then having her face buried into her knees, the sun had gone down. There was also an announcement that the library would be closing soon. Wow, she really just had a breakdown over Sooyoung. She thought she had left those in high school and permanently behind her.

Jinsol dusted herself off the floor and walked down five flights of stairs slowly, her legs a bit numb. She headed to the bathroom to freshen up before fully exiting the building first, her makeup was probably a mess and she didn't want anyone to see her in that state. It was dinner time and most students were going to the cafeteria but the blonde didn’t feel like eating.

She walked back to her the dorms, phone tightly clutched in her hand, still hoping for some kind of update from Sooyoung. Luckily she didn’t have any classes tomorrow and had finished all her homework for the day because she didn't think she would be able to focus at all. Her mood had taken a serious dive for the rest of the night (and most likely tomorrow if she still didn't hear anything).

She walked back through the university campus, a good thirty-minute walk to the dorms, and it wasn’t until the building came into view that her phone suddenly rang, making her jump out of her skin. She usually never had the ringer switched on but had turned the sound on just so she wouldn't miss any calls or texts from Sooyoung.

She checked the caller ID and almost dropped it when she saw the name of the girl she had been looking for for hours flashing on the screen.

“Sooyoung!”

_“Jesus fucking Christ, Jinsol. Thirty-one missed calls and twenty texts? Are you insane? You good?”_ Sooyoung sounded out of breath.

“Me? Are _you_ good? What the _fuck_ Sooyoung? Where have you been? What’s going on? Where are you?”

There was a pause and a distant cough before she replied. _“You're not my mom, cool it. So are you dying? What’s the deal?”_

It was amazing how Jinsol could easily shift her feelings because now she wanted to strangle Sooyoung through the phone.

“I’m fine. But are _YOU_ okay?”

_“Did you fall and hit your head? Yes, I’m okay. You think I’m the one that’s dying? The fuck has gotten into you?”_

“Where have you been all day? I’ve been looking for you.”

_“Why were you looking for—“_

“ANSWER THE QUESTION.”

_“Okay! Relax! I got a job at the bookstore on 12th Street. I started last week and my shifts are from 3 to 6. Happy?”_

Jinsol let out a breath and Sooyoung remained silent for a few seconds.

_“Now will you tell me what’s going on with you? What is it that you’re after? Spit it out.”_

Jinsol suddenly was hit with the consequences of her actions. Shit. “Umm... well... I-I heard... the thing with— you know, down at the—“

_“Fucking use your words! What is it?”_

“IheardwhathappenedwithAlphaKappaandwantedtocheckonyou.”

_“Bitch, what?”_

Jinsol closed her eyes and took a deep breath, and opened them again when she let all the air out. “I heard what happened last week at the party thrown by Alpha Kappa and wanted to check if you were okay.”

Suddenly the call dropped. _Huh?_

Jinsol stood there staring at her phone dumbfounded. Had Sooyoung hung up on her?

_“Jinsol, you’re a fucking idiot.”_

The blonde turned around so quick. There stood the girl she hadn’t seen in over two months. The girl she just went crazy looking for. _The girl she's had a crush on since Senior year..._

Sooyoung was just coming back from her shift at the book store judging by the blue uniform shirt she had on. She was clutching onto her side with two hands and her face was a bit flushed.

“I ran here for you and it was for that stupid piece of gossip. You’re _literally_ the tenth person that thinks that was me.” She walked closer, finally the two being face to face.

Jinsol was gaping back at her like a fish out of water. (She _ran_ for her? Since when does Sooyoung do anything of the sort?)

“Was that not—?”

“No! I should start suing for defamation.” Sooyoung huffed and ran a hand over her messy hair in hopes to tame it down. "That was not me! I was stuck finishing an essay in the library."

“Oh...”

Well, this was awkward... No wonder Sooyoung didn’t come to tell her anything. Because nothing happened to her in the first place. Jinsol really just acted like she would never see Sooyoung again for nothing... she hopes the brunette never finds out of her behavior from today. 

Sooyoung rolled her eyes before walking past her to their dorm building.

“I get that you’re obsessed with me but tone it down next time. My boss thought it was my _‘obsessive boyfriend’_ calling.”

Jinsol's eyes widened but thankfully Sooyoung didn't look back at her. _God,_ she had to retort back to her usual aloof mode. She couldn't risk being found out. She can already imagine Sooyoung laughing in her face if she knew she had feelings for her.

The blonde followed after her, still not believing the ass she just made out of herself. She followed Sooyoung until they reached their floor, not able to look her in the eyes still.

Sooyoung stopped in front of Jinsol’s room and found her behavior off but she figured Jinsol must've been really worried. How she would love to rub it in her face but just this once, she decided to give her a break. She wasn't completely heartless.

“I haven’t had dinner. I’m gonna change and head to the cafeteria. You’re coming with me for making me run for your dumb ass.”

It’s not like Sooyoung left her any room to object. She told Jinsol to meet her back in five, and left for to her room, not being able to hide the smile on her face.

Jinsol had worried about her.

She still cared even after months of not talking.

They were still friends.

Sooyoung's heart picked up its beating but it could be that she was still worked up from running. 

That incident served for them to get close again. Jinsol had been right and this year Sooyoung was taking most of her classes online. It certainly explained why she didn't see her around as much.

They made another unspoken agreement to get dinner together at the cafeteria on Thursdays after Sooyoung’s shift at the bookstore. It was convenient since the place was really close to the coffee shop Jinsol had her Book Club meetings at. She sometimes stopped by and waited for Sooyoung by doing homework and other times she just went there to bother her.

It was like a void Jinsol didn’t know she had was filled... and she didn’t like it. She didn’t want to admit it was because Sooyoung and she were talking again but she couldn't deny it, it was totally because of that.

She was so hopeless. It had already been two months and her mood was significantly better. Even the girls from the Book Club asked if she got a boyfriend recently since it seemed like she had a date after every one of their meetings.

(Jinsol told them no, by the way. And she didn't want to give them more gossip material but she had to correct them and tell them that she wasn't interested in men at all. None of them were fazed. Instead, they were quick to ask if it was a girlfriend she was excited over. More flustered than before, she said no again.)

“Delta Nu is throwing a party for the end of the semester next Friday after finals. Wanna come?” Sooyoung said over dinner.

Jinsol didn’t like parties. They weren’t her thing. They served as a greet means to hook up with people but Jinsol wasn’t really looking for a quick fuck at the moment. 

“Not really. I rather go back home early. Gonna try to get my license, I’ve been studying for it.”

Sooyoung threw a grain of rice at her. “You’re so boring. Let loose once in a while.”

Jinsol shook her head. “I’ll pass.” 

“Come on, _Jindori!_ Live a little!”

The blonde had an idea of where this was going. “Are you trying to get me to go just so I can be your designated sober aid?”

Sooyoung snapped her fingers. “See, you’re so smart! I knew you’d understand.”

Jinsol sighed. “If you want to get wasted, we can buy alcohol at home and save us a trip.”

“It’s not the same! Get the meter-stick out of your ass for once. It’ll be fun, I promise.”

“I’ve been hearing the same thing for the past three years.” _For three years she's witnessed Sooyoung hook up with other people and it hurt._

“You’re so fucking lame. Fine, I’ll go by myself.”

“Don’t you have other friends?” Jinsol put her chopsticks down. “At this point, I’m pretty sure you don’t. And I’m the one that’s lame? _Fucking loner._ ”

“I do and they’re gonna _be there_ but they sure as hell will be doing their own thing. I need someone to make sure _I_ don’t drown in my own puke and holds my hair back while over the toilet bowl.”

Jinsol made a face. “You’re disgusting. Get someone else to be your damn babysitter. It’s not like you even pay me.”

Sooyoung folded her arms and cocked her head to the side. “Oh, is that what this is about? Okay, I’m game. Name your price.”

Jinsol shook her head. “No.”

“Anything.”

“No.”

“How does $100 sound?”

Jinsol was going to say ' _no'_ again but it died in her mouth when she registered what Sooyoung said.

“Don’t you just love what people will do for money?” Sooyoung said dreamily.

“Bitch, I ain’t gonna be stupid and say no to $100. I’ll even bring a diaper bag, what time the party at?”

The party was nothing to marble over (if you've been to one you've been to them all). Delta Nu had a nice place. If Alpha Kappa was the most popular fraternity, Delta Nu was the most popular sorority.

For some reason, Jinsol could see Sooyoung joining them as she matched with their whole image. They were popular, very pretty, had the grades, and liked to get in trouble once in a while. Fit Sooyoung to a T.

One of her former classmates was a Delta Nu and she tried to get Jinsol to join last year. She’s not really keen on their whole (cult-like “sisters-forever-till-death-do-us-apart, now let’s make a blood oath to seal the deal and then get matching tattoos afterwards”) Greek lifestyle.

Okay, so she was being stereotypical (Jinsol actually had no idea how sororities worked), but she knew they had to pay a lot of money to join and no thanks. She's broke enough as is. The reason she's here in the first place is because Sooyoung said she was going to pay her, if that wasn't clue enough.

She tried to have that incentive in mind the whole night but it had merely been an hour and Jinsol wanted to flee. Sooyoung was clearly having fun though. She was playing beer pong against a group of guys and they had attracted a crowd. She was winning (unsurprisingly). They probably bet something but Jinsol didn’t catch the details.

_“You look lonely,”_ a voice was heard from behind her.

Jinsol turned around to be met with a charming smile and hypnotizing eyes. Short black hair, pretty legs, and she had to be at least a good five centimeters taller than her too. Consider Jinsol’s interest piked.

“I’m here to keep watch.” She replied. “Jinsol. Sophomore.”

“Minkyung. Sophomore. Delta Nu.”

Of course. Delta Nu’s had an image they followed. See? She wasn't completely stereotypical after all.

“Who are you babysitting?” Minkyung made herself comfortable next to Jinsol on the wall.

She had a red solo cup in hand and naturally took a sip as she tried to guess who Jinsol was keeping her eyes on.

The blonde decided to help her, otherwise she would be playing _'Where's Waldo?'_ all night.

"Girl playing beer pong.” Jinsol pointed with her chin.

Minkyung’s eyes immediately found Sooyoung. “Ah, HaSoo.” So Sooyoung was popular around here. “Your girlfriend?”

Jinsol automatically laughed. “Hell no.” She wished.

Minkyung raised her brow. “Oh? Then anyone at all?”

Jinsol crosses her arms. “Nope. I’m single.”

Minkyung flashed a smile, “Perfect.” She leaned and propped her hand on the wall, getting in Jinsol’s personal space.

Jinsol felt something inside her stomach stir. Suddenly she forgot she was supposed to be watching Sooyoung.

Said girl was having the time of her life. The guys bet that the winner would get $100. _Hell yeah,_ that’s what she had been counting on. She needed the money to pay Jinsol. It’s not like her job at the bookstore had her swimming in cash.

She was down to her last cup and she was sure she had this. She was a little tipsy but not enough to screw her aim. Sooyoung had played enough party games in her life to be considered a professional (but no one had to know). She zeroed in on the last cup and expertly made her throw, the ball making a perfect arch and landing inside the rim with a small _"plop"._

You'd think she just scored the winning goal for the World Cup with how loud the crowd cheered but alcohol did that. Sooyoung downed another drink to celebrate her victory (even though she didn’t have to) while the team across from her threw a hissy-fit.

_Men. So juvenile._

Sooyoung swayed her way over to the boys from some fraternity she forgot the name of. “A deal’s a deal, pretty boy. Pay up.”

The guy with red hair tried to get out of it by giving her a smolder. “Best two out of three?”

She wanted to gag. “Stop wasting my time and empty your pockets,” she said with a warning tone.

The guy looked upset but he couldn’t get out of the bet with so many eyes on them. He took out a roll of bills and handed them to Sooyoung, and the girl counted them on the spot to make sure all the money was there (she wasn't born yesterday).

Five bills of $20 even. Perfect.

“Better luck next time, Mingi.”

She kissed him on the cheek as consolation for taking his money. She turned around expecting to see blonde hair, only for her eyes to find none. And if she did it it didn't belong to the specific person she was looking for.

_What the fuck? Hadn’t Jinsol been standing by the wall just ten minutes ago?_

She scanned her surroundings thinking Jinsol shouldn’t have gone far and she really hadn’t. Jinsol was in the same place she had been, but someone was blocking her from sight. Sooyoung walked closer.

Was that _Kim Minkyung?_ And was Jinsol fucking _making out_ with her!?

Sooyoung didn’t think when she stormed over and separated the two. If looks could kill Minkyung would already be six-feet under.

“Sooyoung, _what the fuck_ is your problem?” Jinsol said from behind her. Sooyoung had taken a defensive stance between them.

“Nice to see you again HaSoo.” Minkyung beamed.

“Fuck off, Minky.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know Jinsol here was your girlfriend.”

“Speaking of girlfriend, where’s yours?” Sooyoung clicked her tongue.

Minkyung closed her eyes and let out an amused laugh. “Yaebin went back home for the holidays already. Gonna meet with her tomorrow though. Gotta greet the in-laws,” she said shamelessly.

“Hmm, begone thot.” Sooyoung didn’t stay back to see what the Delta Nu would reply with. 

She grabbed Jinsol by the arm and got them the hell out of the living room. They went out to the patio, where it was less loud and less crowded. (It was mostly filled with couples that wanted a space that was more quiet but that was irrelevant).

“Here,” Sooyoung handed her the money. “This party blows. Let’s go.”

Jinsol was taken aback by everything that just happened in the span of five minutes.

“She has a girlfriend?”

“Yes. And it’s the shittiest, most toxic relationship I’ve ever fucking seen. I don’t know why the two don’t just break up. They cheat on each other constantly like it’s a game.”

Jinsol didn’t know what to say. Guess she was thankful for Sooyoung getting her out of that mess.

And for a moment Jinsol thought she had done it because of... never mind her. Just the thought of it was ridiculous. Sooyoung wouldn't be jealous. She wasn't interested in the first place.

Sooyoung wasn’t even close to drunk but her mood had been ruined for the rest of the night, but the night was young and they could go and do something else.

“I’m kinda hungry. Wanna buy me some burgers and fries with that money?” Sooyoung looked down at cash still in Jinsol’s hand.

The blonde decided to fuck with her. “ _Nah,_ I’m good. Let’s go back to the dorm.” She went ahead first, heading for the wooden fence door.

Sooyoung gaped at her. “Wow. You’re such a fucking cunt, Jinsol! I hope you know that!”

The loud statement attracted the attention of the people around them but they didn't care. They could stare all they wanted.

Jinsol didn’t bother looking behind her. “Says the biggest _bitch_ in the universe. Hurry up or I won’t get you food, _fat ass!”_

The brunette smiled at that. She hurried her pace and hooked her arm around Jinsol’s neck, successfully trapping her in a headlock as they made their way onto the street.

_“Fuck!_ Get off me!”

Sooyoung only ruffled her hair and made her angrier. She then let her go and ran for her life. Jinsol wasn’t going to let her get away so easily.

Sure, Sooyoung had been in dance and track in High School, but Jinsol had been in the swim team and used to run three kilometers every morning. Old habits die hard, she still ran every morning without fail. She was technically more fit too as all Sooyoung did now was Zumba once a week. 

She caught up easily, and as retaliation pulled on Sooyoung’s hair. They had resorted to acting like pre-schoolers, it seemed.

The double-major was beyond offended. “Touch me again. I fucking _dare_ you!”

“Shut the fuck up. What are you gonna do?” Jinsol called behind her still running. She then flipped her off just to instigate her more.

With a newborn fire in her, Sooyoung gave Jinsol a run for her money. She was able to also get in a few punches here and there. More than once did they almost trip and ate shit on hard concrete. That wouldn't be ideal so they calmed down and simply raced.

The two made it to the fast-food place in record time, crashing through the door and alarming all the late-night patrons inside. (What were these hooligans up to?) The two were now sweaty and out of breath but they didn’t care, they had more fun than the party.

Sooyoung made her way to the bathroom while Jinsol walked up to the register to place their order. She knew what Sooyoung liked, plus she was the one with the funds.

When Sooyoung came back their food was out and Jinsol was already digging into her fries.

“Couldn’t wait to stuff your face?”

“How do you think I stay this thicc?”

"Never say that again," Sooyoung plopped down across from her and reached for her burger.

She had been craving this forever. When she took a bite she couldn’t hide her moans of approval. Like, literally.  
  


_So good._ Best burgers in town hands down.

Jinsol looked at her disgusted. “Can you stop having sex with your food? Thanks.”

That only urged Sooyoung to make more sounds. “Oh my _God,_ Jinsol, it's _so_ good. Give me more!” She moaned louder.

The blonde looked around her to see everyone inside was giving them looks. She was horrified. She usually wasn't fazed by extra attention but this was _not_ the kind of attention she wanted.

“Sooyoung, stop.”

“Do you want some Jinsol? It’s so _hot_ and _juicy_. The way it _tastes_ in my mouth—“

“I’m leaving.” Jinsol wasn’t staying for this and pushed back her chair.

Sooyoung threw her head back in laughter. “Calm down, you virgin. Sit back down, I’ll behave.”

Jinsol took an angry sip from her vanilla shake as she resumed her spot. “I thought we already discussed I’m not a virgin.”

“Yeah. I know. But I like how you get mad when I say you are.”

Jinsol will never fully understand Sooyoung. For a while the two focused on their food, eating in silence until Jinsol finished her friends first. She was now left sipping on her shake until she had a thought.

“How do you know Minkyung and the whole deal with her girlfriend?”

Sooyoung finished her burger and had half of her fries left. Naturally, she pushed them farther away from her and closer to Jinsol as a silent offering. She dug in automatically.

“Did the mistake you almost made back there.” Sooyoung stirred her chocolate shake mindlessly with her straw. “When I left the room, Yaebin was waiting outside the door ready to choke a bitch, and I thought she would kill me on the spot. But instead, she had her eyes focused on Minkyung.”

“You hooked up with Minkyung?” Jinsol didn’t know if she should be shocked anymore.

“Yes, Jinsol. Keep up. Anyways, all Minkyung said to her was _‘5-4’_ and walked off. They were keeping a score.”

Sooyoung took a long sip before talking again.

“Another Delta Nu told me what the deal was. They’re fucking freaks.”

“You hooked up with Minkyung?” Jinsol asked again.

“Are you _dumb?_ I already said—“

“That you didn’t like girls.”

Sooyoung set her cup down. She was done. “I didn’t _say_ that... Technically I said I wouldn’t go down on a girl. _They’re_ the ones that go down on me.”

Okay. Talk about _TMI_. Good thing Jinsol was done with her food. Jinsol didn’t know what she should do with this information.

“Are you done?” The blonde said instead, referring to her food.

Sooyoung nodded. 

Jinsol got up. “Let’s go then.”

It was like something inside her had shifted. Their whole fall-out over the summer had been because Sooyoung supposedly got offended because Jinsol insinuated she liked girls and now Sooyoung was hooking up with random girls at college? What is going on?

“You’re brooding.” Sooyoung pointed out as they were walking down the street.

“I’m tired.”

Sooyoung didn’t believe her. What was her deal?

“We have to leave first thing tomorrow morning.”

Jinsol wanted nothing more than to leave what she just learned tonight behind her. That didn’t happen. 

All break long, all Jinsol could think about was Sooyoung and her "new" attraction towards girls. Was it a phase or was it for real? And if it was real... had Sooyoung ever considered her as an option?

She shook her head at her usual ridiculous thoughts. Nothing about Sooyoung's body language led her to believe she could possibly feel attraction for her, and that's probably why it hurt more. 

The new semester started and if anything, ever since the confession it felt like Sooyoung was hooking up with girls on purpose and shoving it in her face. It was like she was trying to prove something.

Jinsol didn’t get it. Was she seeking like some kind of approval from her? Because Jinsol was gay herself, was Sooyoung trying to see if she was “doing it right” or whatever had gotten into her?

It was just... Jinsol didn’t know how to explain it. They saw each other less, but every time they crossed paths Jinsol swore she saw Sooyoung with a different girl.

It was none of her business really but it was just, call her paranoid, but it felt like Sooyoung was doing it on purpose. She didn’t have it in her to call her out on it though. At least not until the semester was over and they were done with finals and their Sophomore year altogether.

They had survived another round of finals. The end of the school year was here, and with the end of the year came another party. Jinsol doesn’t know why she said yes to Sooyoung’s invitation. She wasn’t even paying her this time.

Oh well, maybe since Jinsol would have no responsibilities for the next three months she could finally let loose like Sooyoung always told her. Sooyoung had disappeared as soon as the two walked through the door and she had said nothing about babysitting her tonight so Jinsol took it that she could do whatever she wanted for once.

This party was being thrown by Red Beta (and really how many Greek alliances were there? Jinsol couldn’t keep track of all these names). Point was, it was a sorority, which meant, pretty girls. And if she remembered correctly, it was the sorority Joy was a part of.

_“Jinsol?”_

As if being summoned, Jinsol turned around to be greeted by _Park_ to-the _Joy._

“ _Girl,_ what are you doing here?”

“It’s a party.” Jinsol humored her.

Joy rolled her eyes. “No shit. I know. But I didn’t take you as a party girl.”

Jinsol shrugged. “It’s the end of the year. Fuck it.”

Joy cheered at that. “ _My motto._ Here, let me get you a drink. Follow me.”

They made their way through multiple bodies, Joy expertly leading her through the house. When they entered the kitchen, she expected Joy to give her just whatever was set on the kitchen island but no. Joy walked to the fridge and reached for the cupboards over it to reveal several bottles of hard liquor. The expensive kind.

“Can’t let you drink nasty beer that tastes like piss. Hold on.” 

Joy got a couple different juices from the fridge, an energy drink, and two different types of liquor from the cupboard. She got a pitcher and mixed everything following a mental recipe. It became a pretty pink color and she gave Jinsol half a cup with ice and put the rest back in the fridge.

“If you want more, help yourself. The ice's in the freezer. Don’t tell too many people though,” Joy winked and with that, she walked off.

Jinsol took a mouthful and it felt like she had been punched with how strong the mixed drink was. Reminded her of that video where the lady was like, _“two shots of vodka,"_ and proceeded to empty half a bottle. Oh, this would get her shit-faced in no time if she didn't pace herself. It didn’t help Jinsol wasn’t much of a drinker either.

The music was alright, better than their Senior prom at least (the DJ they hired that night had been terrible). She danced for a while because she felt like it, others around her doing the same. Some people were playing Russian roulette with shots but Jinsol was tipsy enough after finishing her drink. No more for the rest of the night.

_“Hey, Jinsol.”_

The blonde turned at the sound of her name. Joy was back, and this time she had a friend with her.

“Have you met Sana?”

Jinsol felt her throat go dry. Drunk her was a lot more susceptible to showing how gay she truly was. The girl looked like she just came out of a modeling catalog.

She shook her head without giving a verbal reply.

“Well, she’s alone too and I thought the two of you could hang out together. You don’t mind do you?”

She didn’t mind _at all._

The three conversed for a while and once Joy made sure the two wouldn’t be awkward with each other she decided to take her leave. She was taking her role as hostess very seriously. Jinsol gave her a 10 out of 10, _would come back again._

She whispered one last thing into Jinsol’s ear before she left them to their own devices. “She’s my roommate. Be nice to her.”

Jinsol offered to get her a drink, the one Joy had made left in the fridge, and now she thinks Joy planned all of this. She liked Sana. She was pretty and nice. She was smart and funny. She was the right amount of flirty and surprisingly confident when she asked Jinsol if she wanted them to go to a more private place. 

Jinsol looked around briefly, making an internal bet with herself that if she saw Sooyoung she wouldn't go. It was probably less than three seconds but she didn't need a lot of time to spot her. She could pick her out among millions, and she didn't need more time to know she wasn't around.

Sooyoung was probably having a blast without her wherever she was, she thought bitterly. Shouldn't she do the same?

Maybe it had been out of spite, but Jinsol said yes.

It was around 2 AM when Jinsol went back to her dorm. She could’ve stayed with Sana but that would imply that she wanted something more and— Don't get her wrong, Jinsol had enjoyed their time together, but she just wasn’t looking for a serious relationship with anyone right now. _~~Not if they weren't Sooyoung~~._

Regardless, Sana had scribbled her phone number on a pink sticky note and slipped it into her jeans. She shot her shot. Jinsol had a great time but she wouldn't be calling her back. All she wanted was to get some sleep, not fully having forgotten about Sooyoung but she was probably fine. She hadn’t texted or called so she assumed she was okay.

That evidently wasn’t the case as Jinsol found her curled up in front of her dorm room. The blonde’s smile got erased from her face as she rushed over.

“Sooyoung?”

No answer. She was sleeping in that awkward position.

Jinsol kneeled and shook her awake. “Hey, what are you doing out here?”

Sooyoung stirred from her slumber and squinted at her. “I lost the keys to my room and my phone died.” She said, voice raspy with sleep.

Jinsol shook her head. “Why didn’t you stay at Red Beta?”

Sooyoung got off the floor. “Couldn’t.” She provided no more details.

“Why?”

“Can you just open the door?”

Jinsol complied.

“My roommate left already so you can sleep on her bed," the blonde told her.

Sooyoung came inside and went straight for the mattress. She basically face-planted.

Jinsol headed for her closet and got out of her tight clothes. “Do you want me to give you clothes to change into?”

Sooyoung didn’t reply.

Jinsol wasn’t liking Sooyoung’s weird mood. She finished putting on a loose t-shirt and shorts before she approached her. “Hey, are you okay?”

Again, no answer. She had her back turned.

“Did something happen?” Jinsol tried again and touched her shoulder.

Sooyoung turned around abruptly. “I fucked up,” was all she said.

Jinsol grew more concerned. “What do you mean?“

“At the party. I was with this girl and—“

Jinsol sat on the bed next to her and began looking over Sooyoung. “Did she do something to you that you didn’t like? Are you hurt anywhere?” She inspected her body for anything out of the ordinary.

“No, that’s not it. I just—" she sat up, "When she was... I—“ Whatever it was, Sooyoung couldn’t say it.

“What is it Sooyoung? Tell me.” Jinsol instinctively put her hand over hers.

Sooyoung looked down at the contact and then back at her unsure. Jinsol leaned back a bit from how close the two were but she didn't let go. Sooyoung gulped nervously before saying her next words.

"What if we kiss? So I can test if I really like girls or not?”

_EXCUSE her?_ _Was she hearing right?_

Jinsol forced herself to not roll her eyes, fearing the force would leave them permanently stuck behind her lids.

“Are you kidding me right now?” Jinsol pulled her hand back.

Jinsol was worried out of her mind for her again and all this time Sooyoung was just being... Sooyoung.

“Jinsol, listen—“

“No, Sooyoung. I’m not going to be the token gay best friend you experiment with. I knew you had been acting weird since the beginning of the semester but I didn’t think it was just you going through a phase.”

“That’s not—“

“If you want to kiss me, simply because you feel like it, then let me know. I won’t be part of—“ the blonde motioned Sooyoung’s body frame with her hand, “Whatever it is you’re going through.”

“Will you just fucking listen to me?” Sooyoung tried to salvage the situation.

Jinsol wasn’t having it. “You can sleep here but in the morning, go to the office first thing and tell them to give you another key. I better not find you here when I wake up.”

Successfully ending with the last word, Jinsol walked to her side of the room and plopped on her bed, pulling the covers all the way up with her back turned. Not once did she look back at Sooyoung.

Neither of them slept well that night.

Ever since the night of the party, Sooyoung hadn’t been sleeping well at all. They both went back home but nothing. They weren’t on speaking terms again. And this time, she feared it was for good.

Sooyoung knew she fucked up and it was because she was incapable of properly articulating her feelings. Jinsol had misunderstood her and she was ignoring her as a result, and she had all the right to. Sooyoung understood her point of view.

_But she had everything wrong!_

That night... how was she going to confess something so embarrassing? She panicked and said something stupid and now here she was, alone at home, debating whether she should go over Jinsol’s house and try to talk things out.

Sooyoung always had a feeling this would be the outcome to their mess of a relationship and that’s why she had kept quiet all this time. She was a coward of four years, or maybe more, she wasn’t sure...

It all started in high school— the worst years of everyone’s life, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise— when they entered a new chapter in their lives and met each other for the first time. 

The thing was, for girls, high school was all about popularity if you wanted to survive without a hitch and to make it out alive you had to be pretty. Sooyoung knew she was pretty, she was basically halfway there to being the most popular girl in school if not for her still being a Freshman. 

Now, Jinsol was also pretty at the time (but ask Sooyoung back then and she would've disagreed because _competition_ ). But people started talking and stupid polls and lists were made and Jinsol and she always ended being tied and it pissed her _THE FUCK OFF._

_Every. Damn. Time._ Where Sooyoung was, Jinsol managed to crawl her way through without even trying to.

She had envied her their first two years of high school for it. Because here Sooyoung was rolling up her skirt higher and putting on more makeup than she should— even though it was against school regulations (fuck the rule book though)— to be hotter than the other girls and Jinsol was considered to be of the same status as her without even fucking doing anything.

Jinsol was officially under her radar and Sooyoung wasn’t one to sit back and do nothing. She felt threatened and she wasn’t going to take shit from anyone. Especially not from that _goody-two-shoes bitch Jung-fucking-Jinsol_. Sooyoung wanted to crush her, in the full _mean-girl_ type of way. It was childish and irrational but hey, _high school._

The back-then dancer was known for her bark and she had spread countless rumors and gossip in hopes of tainting Jinsol's “pristine reputation.” Long story short, it didn't work and Jinsol knew it had been her. That's why their first face-to-face interaction had not been friendly at all. It was like a volcano eruption and a tsunami clashing.

Everyone around them always said the same thing about Jinsol: How she was _so nice and smart_ , and _pretty and friendly_. Both students _and_ teachers alike loved her and praised her like she was _some angel having taken human form_ and Sooyoung didn’t fall for it. All girls— especially high school girls— were the worst. She knew Jinsol couldn’t be as perfect as they made her out to be.

As the social hierarchy of high school works, Sooyoung had to end her. It was basically in her DNA to hate her. What she didn’t know though was that Jinsol had feistiness in her too. She wasn’t one to get pushed around, and even less by _green-with-envy_ Ha Sooyoung, as she dubbed her (she thought she was so clever, _ha ha ha,_ fuck her). 

If she threw insults, Jinsol threw them back. If Sooyoung took something of hers, Jinsol would steal something from her in return. They were both so petty. They even got in a physical fight once during class, both of them ended up looking like they got caught in a tornado and also got suspended for three days.

It was ridiculous but somehow... they got used to the fighting. It became less frequent but since their social interactions started from that hatred, they remained snarky with one another through time. But by Junior year they were inseparable. They didn’t know how it happened but it just did. No one thought they'd ever be friends in this lifetime but they just worked.

Senior year came, and Sooyoung couldn't pinpoint when it was EXACTLY, but something changed. It happened as a fleeting thought at first, so small and insignificant like the flap of a butterfly wing. When the year had just started and Jinsol decided to go blonde. For the first time dyeing her virgin black hair and making a drastic change that took the whole school by storm.

Immediately, Sooyoung thought she looked pretty. So, _so pretty_. The kind of pretty friends are _not_ supposed to find their other friends to be, even less their used-to-be rivals. And then something inside her shifted. From then on, every time she saw Jinsol it was like time slowed down and her surroundings became muffled.   
  


Sooyoung thought she must be losing her mind so she "upped" the mean. She had to throw insults and comments of dislike because, even though they were _“best friends,"_ Sooyoung still had a reputation to uphold as the biggest bitch in school. She couldn't reveal dumb shit like how her breath hitched whenever Jinsol laughed or how she swooned with a simple smile towards her. 

A back-handed comment here and there about how Jinsol must want to go bald with all those toxic chemicals on her head and kill the only two brain cells she had. Or how the color didn't suit her at all and made her look like an ugly ghost. But Jinsol didn’t give a shit. She liked her new hair and Sooyoung could go to hell.

That year she struggled because anywhere Jinsol was, Sooyoung could spot her like a target. It was like the vibrant hair color turned her into a beacon and automatically Sooyoung’s eyes were on her from whatever distance. She wasn't _actively_ searching for her but she somehow always managed to find her. And if Jinsol caught her and stared back, Sooyoung felt her whole body warm up and her heart up in her throat. 

Jinsol was pretty, Sooyoung admitted it (but if anyone asked, she was at the bottom of the list). But with blonde hair, it was like she became 100x prettier and it was making Sooyoung want to do stuff she never wanted to before. Like wanting to buy her things and start talking nicer to her, and hold her hand and wanting to hang out after school together for _no_ _goddamn reason._

That’s why Sooyoung never bought her anything just for the fun of it. She never said kind words to her. Not even a simple “thank you.” She minimized physical contact. If she came over to her house, it was under the excuse of Sooyoung being bored or wanting Jinsol to make her food. It was so fucking stupid and pretending was so hard, but she felt like she had to lie.

And it was because she was scared. Scared of what she was developing for her friend at an alarming rate. So to push her growing desires for Jinsol aside, she began hooking up with boys. Anyone that would give her the time of day (and was popular enough to not taint her social standing) was game. But boys at that age are immature and clueless and they must’ve fallen asleep in health class because they had no idea how female anatomy worked, and _just why_ were boys _so_ fucking _dull_ and _useless?_

Maybe that was just it. It was because they were young and inexperienced. Surely not all guys would be boring to her? And that’s how Sooyoung got the _crazy fucking idea_ to sleep with Jinsol’s Human Anatomy student-teacher. (And also because Jinsol had been stressing over that class for the whole semester and just once she wanted her to relax and take it easy so she stole the answer key to the final for her).

Needless to say, it didn’t work. Even with more experience from an older guy, whatever Sooyoung was supposed to feel— the butterflies or whatever-the-fuck— was not there. It felt like she hit a dead end.

Then came their prom. Their stupid, _no-good-music playing, cheap-decorations having, shitty-food offered,_ _lame-ass_ prom. Sooyoung had been asked by several guys (especially after she broke up with her "boyfriend" and the news spread that she was back on the market. She only did it for the free dates and because he had a nice car) but she rejected them all.

And it was all because... she wanted to go with Jinsol. Okay, so maybe she was starting to contemplate the thought that she might _actually_ have a crush on her best friend and it wasn't just a temporary thing. Sooyoung even came up with a plan and planned to mask it by asking her to go as friends if she freaked out or whatever. She could test her theory and if Jinsol said yes... maybe she could confess to her at the dance?

Sooyoung could already feel the fucking fluttering in her stomach. _Disgusting._ How _bad_ did she have it for the blonde that just the imaginary thought of them getting together had her becoming a flaming mess? But in a way it felt good, to finally accept that what she felt was real.

But then she asked and Jinsol said she was already going with someone else, and everything crumbled around her and it felt like she had been hit with a bucket of ice-cold water. And when Jinsol said her date was a girl it felt like she had been shot in the chest.

Jinsol was going with a girl. Jinsol was gay. _Oh my God_ , Jinsol liked _girls_. Holy fucking shit. _Ree-al-ee-say-shun!_

But Sooyoung couldn’t celebrate because... Jinsol is going to the dance with a girl... a girl that was not her. She wanted nothing else but to curl up in bed and never come out of her room for the rest of her life, but that wasn't possible.

In the end, Sooyoung went to the dance with some guy (she doesn't even remember his name anymore) and they danced and whatever but then Sooyoung went home because the music was shit and there was no good food and the guy had two left feet (and he wasn't Jinsol).

It was _definitely_ NOT because Sooyoung couldn’t stand the sight of Jinsol dancing with that Saerom girl and laughing with her and being all couply and shit. NOT AT ALL. (Fuck her, she is going to dig for dirt about that nobody Lee Saerom and ruin the rest of Senior year for her. She didn't).

Then came graduation and nothing memorable happened. Jinsol's relationship with Saerom didn't last but it still left a sour taste in Sooyoung's mouth. Then summer flew by and it was time for them to leave for college and Sooyoung never told Jinsol where she was going but they ended up going to the same university.

(And NO, she certainly _did not_ pick KU because Jinsol was going there too. Not at all! She was a _legacy_ so admission was just easier... Okay, fine, so maybe Jinsol had been a determining factor too, sue her.)

But then Sooyoung decided that she would stay away from her. She was happy with seeing Jinsol from far away (she was pathetic). So here she was doing a double-major because hopefully being busy would get her mind off Jinsol but _ta-dah!_ It didn’t. 

And then they started meeting at the library to study and Jinsol started getting her coffee and Sooyoung _really_ wished she _hadn't_ because even though the gesture was _insignificant_ and surely didn't _mean_ anything, it never failed to make her heart skip a beat. (It wasn’t even good coffee. It was the cheap kind from the vending machine right outside the entrance).

The tipping point was when Jinsol stormed off and got her that damn sandwich because she hadn’t eaten anything the whole day and she looked like she would faint soon. It showed deep down that Jinsol cared (obviously not in the way she wanted her to though) and it gave her hope. That’s when Sooyoung knew she was _absolutely_ _screwed_ and her crush for Jinsol wouldn’t leave anytime soon. 

Next, fast forward to the damned summer before their Sophomore year happened and it sent Sooyoung spiraling down straight for hell. Sooyoung doesn’t know what her logic was when she asked Jinsol about her sex experience but she thought she did something. 

Hear her out. So in her mind, she was just curious because she _herself_ didn’t have much experience being with girls, and if something between them ever DID happen (hypothetically speaking of course), she wanted to know just in case and be prepared... Like who would have to be the one to take the lead and whatnot so she wouldn’t disappoint her or anything—

_Sooyoung was dumb, okay! Give her a break!_

The thing was, Sooyoung also didn’t know when to _shut the fuck up_ and she kept on prying and being stupid by calling Jinsol a virgin, so the blonde naturally got angry. She just _had_ to roll over and straddle her and pin her arms above her head, and then talk dirty to her and rake her nails down her stomach.

Sooyoung could’ve creamed her panties right then and there if it hadn’t been for Jinsol getting off in less than a minute and calling everything a joke. Like _yes,_ that had been a joke, but it was very real as in it _really_ happened _._

That had been _real_. And it meant that Jinsol had her fair share of experience and it planted an image in Sooyoung’s head like clockwork. Just the thought of Jinsol topping her and having her way with her— Yeah, Sooyoung got the hell out of her house and couldn’t look her in the eyes even after school started again.

So then what did Sooyoung decide to do? Try to get even busier by getting a job. (A double-major _and_ a part-time job, she must have a death wish). But she would do anything to try and take her mind off Jinsol and... _fuck,_ _she can still see her on top of her whenever she closed her eyes._ SHE NEEDED THE DISTRACTION.

She didn’t have much luck with her job hunting, at least not until someone recommended her for the bookstore on 12th Street. It was right across a coffee shop so it was fairly busy, and also it happened to be the coffee shop Jinsol had her Book Club meetings at. 

Yeah, Sooyoung knew about those too. She had seen the girl through the window with a group of girls once a week. She had also seen the fliers around the school promoting the Book Club and it's meeting location so it had been easy to put two and two together.

In the end, Sooyoung accepted the job at the bookstore simply because she was a lovesick fool. Jinsol wasn’t talking to her and it’s not like she made an effort to get close again either. At least she could see her like this even from far away... Sooyoung doesn't know how she has the brain to get good grades yet is an absolute _idiot_ when it came to feelings and emotions.

Then the shit with Alpha Kappa happened and everyone _automatically_ thought it was her. Why was it that whenever shit happened everyone zeroed in on her? It hadn't been her this time! She hadn’t even been sleeping with guys for a whole year (no one had to know that though). And she had also been really busy with schoolwork!

Somehow the rumor that it was her reached Jinsol and Sooyoung was shocked when she had thirty-something missed calls by her and a shitload of texts. Sooyoung thought _she_ had been the one who something happened to and maybe had gotten in like an accident or something (she thought of the worst case scenario), so she ran as fast as she could back to the dorms, but it was all Jinsol thinking she was having a hard time because of some _dumb ass frat boy._

And Sooyoung never felt so _offended_ (because she swore on her _life_ she would never have a hard time over a _guy)_ yet _touched_ because even though Sooyoung had been avoiding her like the plague (at least as much as she could) Jinsol still cared. She cared about her even though Sooyoung had been nothing but a bitch and then she started having thoughts... negative thoughts of her not deserving someone like Jinsol.

She had been hooking up with girls since the beginning of the year in hopes to serve as a distraction but her heart was stubborn. Maybe if she tried for things to go back like they used to be in high school (when they had fewer things to worry about) her feelings would settle. So Sooyoung proposed for them to go to the party thrown by Delta Nu.

Her thinking was that if she hung out with Jinsol as friends like they used to, her feelings would reach a stand-still and they were bound to go away. Yeah, she should’ve thought her plan over. She forgot about Kim Minkyung being a Delta Nu and her blood boiled when she saw her mouth all over Jinsol’s. _How fucking dared she?_

Sooyoung wanted to get the fuck out of there because _yes, she was jealous and pissed_ , and what if someone else tried to make the moves on Jinsol again? She did _not_ want to go to jail at such a young age for murder. (She was barely able to contain herself from strangling Minkyung). 

She tried to forget the night’s incidents by proposing they get burgers and fries but, like always, destiny likes to fuck with her. Jinsol had to get curious about Minkyung and Sooyoung had to spill and _yup_ , Sooyoung knew Jinsol probably felt betrayed. Her theory was correct when Jinsol distanced herself again.

And then, _finally_ , last semester was when everything went to shit.

(Let’s try to sum it up as quickly and efficiently as possible, this story is already too damn long.)

Sooyoung didn’t take Jinsol’s distance from her well, mainly because she hadn’t been the one to initiate it. It felt like Jinsol was slipping away from her without her control and she didn’t want to feel so weak and feel like the blonde had so much power over her, so she tried to overcompensate by hooking up with more girls.

Did it work? Ha Ha Ha! _Absolutely not._ (Hmm, you'd think by now Sooyoung would realize that there's a pattern of bad decisions she keeps making. Again, _what a dumb ass!)_

_Every. Single. Girl._ Reminded her of Jinsol somehow. Sooyoung felt like she was going crazy. And she wasn’t thinking (like always) when she told Jinsol to come to the party being thrown by Red Beta at the end of the year but she did. It was like she was trying to subconsciously prove to herself that she didn’t like her. She had gone into a crazy state of denial.

But the more she denied her attraction for Jinsol the stronger it got (it sounded like a cliché). That night at the party she had taken one drink too many and finding a girl was too easy. They went to a more private place but then Sooyoung had to fuck everything up and it was like the world came crashing down her.

The girl had been good, made her come in minutes, but the problem was that Sooyoung had called _Jinsol’s name_ instead when she brought her to orgasm. It was so embarrassing and humiliating and it felt like a wake up call.

She panicked. Full-on panic attack on the spot. And she needed to get the hell out of there ASAP.

She didn’t know where her keys were but they were gone and she didn't have time to look for them. And just her luck, her phone was also dead. She couldn’t get in her room so she headed for the only other option she had which was Jinsol’s room. 

Nothing. No one answered the door which meant she was probably still at the party. So she was having a great time without her, _fantastic_. (Sooyoung was such a hypocrite).

She fell asleep waiting for her outside her door. Since it was a while before Jinsol got back, it served her as a time to contemplate what she would do from this point on. Sooyoung couldn’t let things continue like this. Her sanity was at risk (that was if she hadn’t lost her mind already).

When Jinsol came back, Sooyoung wanted to confess. She wanted to tell her everything that’s been going on with her since forever but, like always, Sooyoung was emotionally inept. She fucked up and gave Jinsol the wrong idea that this was all a phase and that she was playing games. What she wanted to say came out completely wrong.

Now back to the present, here she was sprawled on her bed, just blankly staring off into space, contemplating what would be the most painful way to die. And that's the (fucking tragic) story of her love life.

She couldn’t believe what a fucking _moron_ she was. She was so irritated with herself. So much shit could’ve been avoided if she just— Why couldn’t she just grow a pair and say things like they were? 

_She liked Jinsol!_

_For a long time!_

_Fuck!_

But then something Jinsol said that night gave her hope. Back in her dorm room when she went off on her:

_“If you want to kiss me, simply because you feel like it, then let me know.”_

Was she serious? Could she really?

Did that mean Jinsol would be cool with it if she confessed to her? Did it mean what Sooyoung thinks it means? (She hoped so, she doesn't think her heart would be able to take the disappointment).

Jinsol didn’t want things between them to be a test, she wanted something real (or at least that's how she made things sound).

Sooyoung could do that. She was tired of being in denial and she had been a chicken long enough.

So she did what she had to do. She stopped mopping, got her ass up, and headed straight for Jinsol’s house. The two didn’t live far from each other. About a twenty-minute walk/ten-minute run, but Sooyoung wasn’t going to run in this heat (40 degrees Celcius, no thank you).

She didn’t see a car in the driveway and she knew Jinsol had gotten her license so she hoped the blonde hadn’t gone out. (Jinsol was a homebody, she couldn’t start going out now!)

Sooyoung rang the doorbell and there was nothing but silence until she heard familiar stomps down the stairs. Sooyoung's nerves only increased with every passing second.

Jinsol opened the door only to try to close it back up in her face. Sooyoung wasn’t going to let her.

“Leave!”

“Will you just listen to me?” Sooyoung was trying to push the door open but Jinsol had her whole weight on the door.

“I don’t want to listen to whatever excuse you’re going to come up with!”

“It’s not an excuse! _Fuck,_ _Jinsol!_ You didn’t even let me finish what I wanted to tell you that night!”

“Oh, you said enough. I didn’t need to hear more.” Jinsol managed to successfully close the door, almost breaking Sooyoung's fingers in the process.

“Okay. Listen, I know I fucked up. What I said was stupid and not at all how I meant for it to come out...” Guess she’d just have to do her confession with a door between them. “Yes, I’m _curious_ but not like that. I’m attracted to you Jinsol. The physical attraction is there. And I'm curious if the two of us could work out.”

Yeah, that was not helping her case. So Sooyoung wanted her for her body only? She should’ve known. _“I’m not gonna become your sex buddy, Sooyoung. Go and find someone else to pass the time.”_ She said back.

“That’s just it though! I don’t want us to have some no-strings-attached thing between us. I want us to be exclusive!”

_Was she being serious?_ Jinsoul's anger wasn't going away. _What gave her the right?_

_“You don’t get to decide that! Who do you think you are?”_

“The thought of you going out with other people— sleeping with other girls— it drives me insane, Jinsol! I want you to be mine.” Sooyoung pleaded.

Jinsol wasn’t falling for it. She didn’t believe her. She knew the things Sooyoung was capable of just to get her way.

_“You don’t own me Sooyoung. Don’t act like this is already a done deal.”_

“Then choose right now! I like you Jinsol. What more do you want me to say? I’m telling you I want to be with you.”

_Lies._

Jinsol had no ounce of trust for Sooyoung. After all this time, all the pain she's caused her.

_“You think I’m gonna believe that? You think that after all these years, I’m gonna fall for your games? I know you Sooyoung. You liking me? That’s the funniest thing you’ve ever said.”_

Jinsol couldn’t accept it. This wasn’t like Sooyoung. She only did things for her personal benefit. She only hooked up with people for fun. She never took anything seriously. She never noticed Jinsol had been beside her all those years yet Sooyoung managed to break her heart time and time. 

If she said yes to getting together, Jinsol would be the only one trying and she would be the one to get hurt in the end, like always. She would always be second. She would never be Sooyoung’s first choice or priority. Jinsol would never be enough for her because Sooyoung was egocentric and selfish and incapable of having any amount of remorse or sympathy.

Sooyoung felt like there was no hope, so in one last puny attempt to make things work, she said the first thing that came to her mind.

“Just one night! Let me prove it to you!”

Jinsol _seriously_ had no idea why she always let Sooyoung convince her to do the stupidest things. It's like she didn't have any defenses.

_“And if you can't?”_

Sooyoung was going to regret this and she knows it.

“I’ll leave you alone. Shit, I’ll even transfer schools! I'll go to SNU. You'll never see me again!”

There was silence on both ends until finally, Jinsol opened the door again. Her face held nothing positive.

“Tomorrow night. That’s it.”

Sooyoung would take anything she could get. “Done.”

Sooyoung proposed for them to meet at her house. Her parents were out of town on a cruise and her sisters had long moved out so they had the whole place to themselves without being interrupted.

Jinsol didn’t know whether she should be thankful or worried knowing that they would be completely alone. Okay, definitely worried.

Sooyoung had told Jinsol to pack a bag and Jinsol already had a sense of what the brunette was planning on doing. Did she _actually_ think she was going to win her over with sex?

Jinsol doesn’t know why she’s wasting her time.

“Did you eat yet?”

Jinsol shook her head. 

“Cool. I’m already making dinner. Is lasagna okay with you? I’ve been craving it for a while.” Sooyoung offered her a smile.

Jinsol thought she misheard that. There was no way. She was sure the Sooyoung she was used to had gotten abducted and was replaced by an alien.

“You can cook?”

Sooyoung scrunched her face. “Yes? Is that shocking?”

Jinsol nodded. “Uh yeah, considering you came to my house whenever you were hungry.”

Sooyoung cleared her throat awkwardly. She figured being honest was the only way she would convince Jinsol that her feelings were not a fluke. 

“I just used that as an excuse to come over and see you.”

Jinsol paused and looked at Sooyoung with an unreadable expression. The silence was killing the latter so she scurried to the kitchen.

“Sorry, I’m going to check on the food.” And she left with her head lowered in hopes to hide the blush rushing to her cheeks.

Jinsol was speechless. Her heart was beating in an irregular pattern after Sooyoung’s words and she didn’t like it. She couldn't be won over already so she tried to dismiss the confession and focus on something else. 

Still not believing Sooyoung had cooked herself, she tried to find an empty instant lasagna box in the trash or something. Maybe some take-out boxes or catering containers.

Nothing of the sort.

She truly made the lasagna from scratch.

Jinsol walked to the kitchen. “How do I know your mom didn’t make it or something?”

Sooyoung let out a small smile. “My parents have been gone since last week,” she said while looking in the cupboards for some specific items. “Would you like a drink?” 

She took out a bottle of wine and two glasses. Jinsol felt like she was in the twilight zone. Was this a prank? Where were the cameras hidden? There had to be something she wasn't realizing.

“Thanks,” Jinsol merely said when Sooyoung handed her a glass half full, still a bit stunned.

It tasted alright, she didn’t know much about wines. In contrast, Sooyoung seemed to really like it and seemed very pleased by the taste. The lasagna finished cooking and Sooyoung served both of them a plate once it cooled down a bit. Jinsol didn’t want to admit it but it was probably the most delicious thing she’s eaten in weeks. She didn't refuse when Sooyoung asked if she wanted seconds.

They hardly make any small-talk over their food, Jinsol still not able to wrap her mind over everything and Sooyoung too nervous to hold a conversation longer than a couple of sentences. When they were finished Sooyoung took their plates and placed them in the sink. Dishes were not one of her favorite things to do so she'd wash them later.

“Wanna watch a movie?” Sooyoung suggested next.

She walked them to the living room. She touched a few buttons on the remote and soon the screen for Disney+ showed up.

“Disney+ and Chill?” Jinsol joked.

Sooyoung gulped, her mind immediately going to the gutter. “No. I wanna watch Endgame.” She sat down on the couch.

Jinsol took her up on the offer and sat down as well, a noticeable distance between them, almost at opposite ends of the couch. Soon enough, the two got engrossed in the movie, or at least Sooyoung seemed like she was. Jinsol had been trying to subtly look at her from the corner of her eye, waiting for any sudden movements like a predator to be aware of.

“I’m not going to eat you you know,” Sooyoung said deadpan. “You can relax.”

Jinsol turned her whole body towards her this time. “Well, can you blame me? You’re being weird.”

“No, Jinsol. I’m showing you I like you and that’s why I invited you over,” she said. Eyes still on the TV.

“This isn’t like you. I’d thought there’d be sex involved!”

Sooyoung almost choked and blinked back at her in shock. “Do you want there to be?”

“No!”

“Then there you go!” Sooyoung removed the pillow she had on her lap. “Why would I do something you don’t want to do?”

“I just—“ Jinsol couldn’t find the words. “That’s just who you are!”

Sooyoung shook her head. “You don’t even know half of me, Jinsol,” she let out a heavy breath and tried to focus back on the movie.

She wasn’t going to pretend like Jinsol’s words hadn’t hurt her but she didn’t blame her. Sooyoung had created this image for herself since high school and it would be hard to break out of it.

Jinsol still had her eyes fully focused on her. “I just can’t believe you like me.”

Sooyoung looked at her again. “Why wouldn’t I like you? What’s not to like?”

It was like now that she’d come to terms with it she couldn’t stop saying it. She liked Jinsol and she would tell her every time she had the chance.

“You haven’t shown me any instance in the past of you ever liking me beyond friends.”

Sooyoung shook her head. “Not true. I was just a dumb ass and expressed it in weird ways.”

“Well, I’m not focused on the movie at all and you’ve seen this like ten times. Try me.” She got closer to the brunette.

“Well... I can tell you one of the latest instances.”

Sooyoung reached for the remote and lowered the volume a bit, she still needed the movie in the background to serve as a cushion.

“You know the job I got at the bookstore?" She played with her fingers.

"Yeah." It was a first seeing Sooyoung acting so nervous.

"I got it because the coffee shop you have your Book Club meetings at is right across the street and I hoped that maybe you would,” Sooyoung’s voice dropped quieter with every word, “come in to buy a book sometime.”

Jinsol stared at her quiet, taking her time in understanding the words, and when everything clicked she whole-heartedly laughed. She _laughed_ at her. Sooyoung took that jab directly on her ego.

“I know already, don’t say anything!” Sooyoung warned.

“I never took you for a hopeless romantic, Sooyoungie,” Jinsol said in between breaths.

“Shut up, Jinsol! You know what, I take everything back. I hate you.”

Jinsol finally started to calm down and wiped the tears from her eyes. “Oh, that was a good one.”

“You’re an ass,” Sooyoung turned her body away from her.

“What else?” Jinsol was fully intrigued now. “There has to be more, right?”

“No, there’s nothing more. Go home. I’m done.”

Jinsol laughed again. “Come on. At this point, I don’t believe that anymore.” The blonde got closer and tugged Sooyoung by the arm. “Tell me what else?”

Sooyoung still had her body away from her but she said something under her breath Jinsol couldn’t catch.

“...you said you weren’t a virgin...”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“When you said you weren’t a virgin. So the reason I hooked up with a lot of girls, was because I wanted to get experience...”

Okay, Jinsol was no longer laughing.   
  
  


"And like what? Match my levels or whatever? Did you think you had to go out and practice?"

Sooyoung nodded.

Oh no. She had given Sooyoung the wrong idea but she wasn't completely at fault either. “Sooyoung you’re a fucking idiot.”

The brunette turned to face her again. “What was I supposed to do!? I was scared! It was the first time I felt like this and I wanted to be prepared! And at the same time I thought, ‘maybe this way I can forget her’ but everything kept on escalating and it grew beyond my control and here we are.”

“What were you so scared of?”

“This! Of you not believing me! Of you walking away from me!” Sooyoung finally had an outburst. 

Jinsol wasn’t ready for Sooyoung's explosion and the string of confessions that were thrown violently in her face.

“I tried to forget you first and distance myself but every time I ran away you kept coming back and it was so fucking hard because everything you did— the _fucking coffee_ , the Alpha Kappa misunderstanding, having shitty cafeteria food for dinner together— it _did things_ to me, Jinsol. It gave me hope that maybe you could like me too.”

Sooyoung finally laid all her cards on the table. She had nothing to hide anymore. She had been so frustrated with herself for being so inadequate and to finally be able to speak her truths had her becoming an emotional wreck.

Jinsol wanted to find a flaw in her logic. Some plot hole in her story, but in a way it made sense. She didn’t want to, but she believed her and she forgave her. The two were raging fools.

“You know things would’ve been SO much easier if you simply told me you liked me from the beginning, right?”

Sooyoung forced herself not to cry. She still had some dignity left. “I tried... I wanted to...”

Jinsol frowned at her, not able to ever recall a time Sooyoung looked like she wanted to confess. “When?”

“When I asked you to go to prom with me...” Sooyoung said pitifully. “I wanted to confess to you at the dance.” 

It was like finally saying it out loud unlocked the chains she had wrapped around her heart and prevented her from feeling vulnerable. The emotions from back then hit her like a bullet train and she wasn’t able to hold back the years of pain and heartbreak.

Her tears finally flowed freely and the sight made Jinsol’s heart twist. She couldn’t believe Sooyoung’s bad luck. Jinsol remembered vividly the empty look on her face when she told her she was already going to prom with someone else. She now understood why she had reacted like that all those years, it had been because she tried to keep herself together.

Instinctively Jinsol pulled her in for a hug, something she's never done before. 

“Oh, Sooyoung.” 

She thinks she understood now. Why Sooyoung was so scared. She would be too if destiny seemed to be so against her all the time. Technically, Jinsol had been the same way, just reacted differently. She had been avoidant while Sooyoung used distractions to cope. They weren't different at all.

_Prom..._

Their Senior prom that was _three_ years ago. Sooyoung had liked her for that long? Since high school? So her feelings hadn't been one-sided.

Jinsol rubbed soothing circles on her back, physical affection being something they both weren’t used to but found that neither minded.

Sooyoung felt so small and frail in her arms. The blonde could practically feel every sob ripple through her body like it was her own and how irregular her heart was beating for getting so worked up.

“Shh, it’s okay. That’s in the past now, let it out.” 

Sooyoung cried until she had no more tears left and she thought this wasn’t how the night was supposed to go. The realization had her pulling back in alarm and embarrassment. She was flustered now and couldn’t look Jinsol in the eyes.

“This is all your fault! Who told you to go ahead and dye your hair blonde?”

Jinsol’s jaw dropped. “You said the color was ugly and the chemicals were going to finish killing my brain cells!”

“I lied!” Sooyoung yelled.

Jinsol couldn’t believe her. She had known Sooyoung for almost seven years and she never failed to surprise her. She was starting to appreciate every new side to her and look forward to finding out more.

“So you began to like me since I was blonde.”

“Maybe. Probably. I don’t know.” Sooyoung tried to wipe the remaining tears as discretely as possible. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

Being alone for a few minutes served as thinking time for her. There was no doubt in her mind anymore that Sooyoung liked her. She had a really weird fucking way of showing it but she believed her. Now the million-dollar question to their blossoming relationship was, how were they going to proceed from here on out?

“You believe me, right?”

Sooyoung came back, after fixing her makeup. Her nose was red and her eyes were a bit puffy still which Jinsol thought made her look silly (and kinda cute. Don’t tell her that). 

“Yes, you big baby. I believe you. And I forgive you. Come here.”

It was amazing how natural Sooyoung curled in against Jinsol. Head tucked under her chin and the blonde having a protective hold around her waist. 

“Good. ‘Cause I was ready to kick you out and never see you again if you didn’t.”

Jinsol snorted. “You said we had all night.”

Sooyoung poked her on the side. “Your dirty mind was thinking of something else, don’t even lie. I only planned dinner and a movie. And I told you to bring clothes to stay over so you didn’t have to go back home in the middle of the night. It was all innocent.”

Jinsol found that hard to believe. “Oh, so if I suggested making out right now you’d say no?”

The speed at which Sooyoung sat up was truly amazing. “I didn’t say that.”

“Desperate much?” Jinsol laughed.

Sooyoung sunk lower in her seat. “I hate you. You now have blackmail material against me and I don’t even know if you like me back,” she crossed her arms and complained.

Jinsol studied her over for a second. Trying to memorize her features. Her blemish-free skin and her pretty lips. Lips she wouldn’t mind crashing with her own right then.

Without any more delay, Jinsol reached for Sooyoung’s arm and tugged her, Sooyoung not expecting the strength which was used to pull her. It was enough for her to crash against her side clumsily but Jinsol simply let out a giggle as she helped her up and propped her on her lap, legs straddling either side.

Now she was looking up at her, one hand on her waist to keep her steady while the other had come up to rest on her cheek and Sooyoung could feel her heart ringing in her ears. Jinsol pulled her down with little force, the two closing their eyes naturally and instinctively leaning closer for their lips to meet in the middle.

Sooyoung had imagined her first kiss with Jinsol in her head many times. Going over countless scenarios, from different settings and situations. Her body hummed with excitement every time she thought of finally getting to taste her lips. However, no dream she formulated in her mind could prepare her for the real deal.

When their lips finally touched, Sooyoung let out a sigh that was tranquil and serene. She was so at peace, her whole body feeling like it was flying and she fisted the front of Jinsol’s shirt in case she decided to float away, needing something to ground her. She couldn't believe this was really happening.

Her heart was doing somersaults and she was becoming overwhelmed with emotions once again, the feeling to cry climbing back up to the point it made her shiver. Jinsol could feel her shaking on top of her and slowed down her movements, stopping altogether to check on her.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Sooyoung still had her eyes closed. “Yeah.” Her voice was a little unsteady. “I’m sorry. Just give me a sec...”

Jinsol didn’t think she could _possibly_ be more entranced with the girl on top of her.

"Sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me," Sooyoung let out a shaky breath, not even fully understanding what she was apologizing for.

The way Sooyoung liked her was so pure and raw, never in her life had someone showed so much affection towards her. Everything she did, every small reaction she had, made Jinsol so enamored. 

“I don’t mind. It just means you _really_ like me,” Jinsol caressed her cheek with her thumb lovingly. 

Why was Sooyoung acting like an inexperienced schoolgirl? Could her body stop betraying her and stop being so embarrassing? She felt like she was going to melt into a puddle from embarrassment and Jinsol teasing her like that was not helping.

“And I _really_ like you too.”

Sooyoung opened her eyes back up at the confession only to see Jinsol grinning back at her. She tried to find any traces of lying on her face, but she couldn't. It wasn't a lie. Sooyoung's throat had gone dry and she couldn't think. Jinsol liked her back. Her attraction wasn't unrequited like she thought.

The brunette wasn’t the only one affected. Sooyoung did things to Jinsol too. All positive ones of course. She never thought Sooyoung would have feelings for her, never saw it as a possibility. But now the truth had been revealed and Jinsol felt like she could finally breathe. Like she had been set free and she had the power to achieve anything.

Jinsol pulled her back down, this time kissing her a little harder and faster. Her whole body was hit with a rush of adrenaline. Kissing Sooyoung felt like she was free-falling while at the same time soaring freely through a beautiful clear sky. The butterflies in her stomach were having a party and her heart was leaping from joy.

Jinsol brought her hands on both sides of her waist to bring her closer, Sooyoung doing a great job of keeping up pace with her. No doubt they were a perfect match. Both of them had finally found that "missing piece" from their love life in each other.

That night, there were no more "unspoken agreements" between them. They made it clear that they would always communicate from here on out. No more hiding and no more lying. They had had enough of that.

“How long till you get here?” Sooyoung asked over the phone.

_“Hmm, the GPS says one more hour. I’ll head straight to the dorms, don’t worry.”_

“Did you bring me back anything?” Sooyoung then asked, rolling her suitcase into their new dorm room.

_“Of course. I can’t take a road trip all over the country and not bring anything back to my needy girlfriend.”_

“Fuck you,” Sooyoung snarled.

_“Oh, I hope so,”_ Jinsol replied cheekily.

They were now Juniors and the new school year would start in a couple days. They broke tradition this year and they came separately, Jinsol having gotten a brand new car and proposing on going on a road trip to “rediscover” herself.

Sooyoung didn’t think she would be able to stay in a car for a week so she passed on the offer to go together. Albeit reluctantly, she told her they would meet at school and to be safe.

_("Don't pick up hitchhikers and don't stop at gas stations that look too empty. Keep an extra gallon of gas just in case there's nothing for miles. Don't sleep in the middle of nowhere EITHER."_

_"Okay, mom," Jinsol nodded with a big smile._

_Sooyoung ignored that. "If possible, try to get a motel room and if you can't, make sure you lock the car if you have to sleep in it. Keep extra blankets to use, it gets cold at night. Also, keep a spare tire with you at all times. Do you even know how to change a tire?" Sooyoung suddenly froze._

_"Yes, ma'am, I do," the blonde laughed._

_"Okay, good," she kept ranting. "And ALWAYS check the backseat of your car before getting inside. What if there's some weirdo that breaks in it? I don't want you to get abducted. There's a lot of psychos out there nowadays."_

_"I'll be fine, relax," Jinsol kissed her on the cheek._

_Sooyoung wanted her to take things more seriously. "Shut up! I don't want to see you reported dead on the news at some deserted rest stop! Here's a taser and some pepper spray. Now, I'm going to teach you some basic Jiu-Jitsu.")_

Sooyoung knew she would be fine, but one could never be too careful! They called every day and Jinsol sent her selfies and other pictures of the many sights she visited.

Rather than a road trip, Sooyoung hoped they could one day travel together by another mean. Maybe flying to a foreign country or going on a cruise to a tropical island. Maybe they could go somewhere further and more daring like Europe. She had always wanted to visit Budapest.

“Alright, babe. I gotta go sign-in. Call me when you get here?”

Jinsol hummed. _“I will. Love you.”_

“Love you too,” Sooyoung said back before hanging up.

She had an hour to kill before she saw her girlfriend again, and even though it had only been for a week, Sooyoung was dying. It was different not having her at arm’s-length.

“Hi! Welcome back to KU!” A bright tour guide greeted her. _Way too happy,_ if you ask her. “There’s a welcoming event in the Student Center! There’s games, music, guest speakers, clubs are set up outside, AND free food.”

She had her at free food.

Not only was Sooyoung able to get endless free slices of pizza and soda refills but she also met with old friends. Yerin from last year’s Stats class. Eunbi from Bio-Anthropology. Seulgi from her Zumba class. Her past roommates. Woah, there were more people than she anticipated. 

And of course, she couldn’t forget—

_“HaSoo? Is that you?”_

Sooyoung wanted to crawl in a hole. _Why must destiny hate her so much?_

She turned around and put on her best fake smile, the one that screamed _obvious_ so people could take a hint. “Hi, Minky. You STILL go here?”

“Very funny, we’re in the same year," she _didn't_ get the hint. Or if she did she purposely ignored it. "How’s Jinsol? Still single?” Minkyung jabbed back at her.

Sooyoung found herself crumpling the soda can in her hand, only slightly, it still had some left and she wanted to finish it. “No. And we’re together now.”

“Oh, _thank fuck_ ,” Minkyung clapped her hands together. “You practically drooled every time you saw her. Oh, and I heard what happened with you and Nayeon at last year's party. How you said Jinsol’s name instead of hers when she—“

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?" Sooyoung cut her off. "Is Yaebin here?”

“Nope. I’m single for two more days.” The girl threw her a greasy smile that made Sooyoung’s skin crawl.

“You’re insane.”

“Thank you.”

“Not a compliment, _fucking psycho,”_ Sooyoung said that last part below a whisper, masking it by taking a sip of her drink.

The Delta Nu heard her though. “I like to refer to it as open-minded instead.” Minkyung corrected. “Well, tell Jinsol I said hi.”

_“Absolutely not,”_ Sooyoung told her, still with a saccharine smile on.

Minkyung chuckled before letting her be. “Take care of her, HaSoo.”

Sooyoung looked at Minkyung until she was sure she wouldn’t come back and then she looked at the clock on the way. A little more than an hour had passed.

She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket just as she thought of her whereabouts. It was her.

“Hello?”

_“I’m here! Going up to my room to drop off my stuff.”_

“Cool. I’ll meet you there!”

_“But you don’t even know where—“_

“See you in a bit.” Sooyoung didn’t let Jinsol finish and hung up.

She threw the dented soda can at a near garbage can and ran out of the Student Center. Her body was flowing with electricity at the thought of finally seeing Jinsol again. She was acting like the two had been apart for a year rather than a week but Sooyoung didn’t care.

The dorms weren’t far from the Student Center. It was closer than the cafeteria. Waiting for the elevator was a pain but it was a matter of seconds now.

Sooyoung pressed the floor number, shook her leg in anticipation, and when the elevator doors opened she dashed out of there like someone was chasing her. The door was open so she barged in, like always.

It was like time stood still for a few seconds. Jinsol had her back towards her at first but when she turned around and greeted her with that loving smile, Sooyoung felt her heart swoon. The biggest change of it all was that she was no longer blonde. She had changed her hair back to black.

“Missed me?” Jinsol stretched her arms for a hug.

Sooyoung practically threw herself at her. The force made them both tumble on the bed.

“Woah there.” Jinsol laughed. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

Sooyoung didn’t waste time in clashing their lips together, missing her kisses so much that she thought she would go crazy. Jinsol hummed in approval and Sooyoung didn’t waste time in deepening their kiss. 

_“Put a sock on the door if you’re gonna do that here,”_ someone passing by said loud and clear, successfully breaking them up.

Right. The door was still wide open. And no. They weren’t going to do that. Sooyoung could feel her face growing hot.

They both sat up, Jinsol immediately enveloping her in a hug. 

“I recognized your suitcase there. So we’re rooming together, what are the odds?” Jinsol said in amazement.

Sooyoung looked up at her and gave her a quick peck on the lips. “I may have pulled a few strings.”

Jinsol grinned. “Well, I’m not complaining at all.”

The two locked lips again. It seemed like they were unable to keep their hands to themselves.

_“A SOCK.”_ The same person from before said again. It was probably their bitchy dorm monitor. 

Sooyoung pulled back annoyed. _“For fucking shit! Mind your own business!”_ She yelled back.

Jinsol deducted that they should just close the door and she got up to do just that. She made her way back to the bed and Sooyoung wrapped herself around her like a koala.

“I’m so happy you’re back. You have to tell me everything.” Sooyoung spoke.

Jinsol ran her fingers through her hair lovingly. “Tell you everything? I called you every day. You already know what I did.”

_“Nu-uh!_ You didn’t tell me you dyed your hair!” Sooyoung punched her on the arm, not enough to hurt of course but Jinsol liked to be dramatic.

_“Ow!_ I did it yesterday and I wanted to surprise you. Do you like it?” 

Sooyoung looked up at her with as if honey was dripping from her eyes. “I love it.” She gave her another quick kiss, “What brought on the change?”

Jinsol knew she had to be honest. “You said you liked me since I dyed my hair blonde. I wanted to see if you still liked me with black hair.”

“You’re so stupid,” Sooyoung buried herself into her neck. “I said _maybe_ it started when you dyed your hair blonde.”

She pulled away to look at Jinsol, her face suddenly turning serious. Jinsol's smile dropped.

“But I think you’re right. You having black hair again made me realize something.”

Sooyoung’s change of tone had Jinsoul becoming nervous. “What?”

But in the end, she had nothing to worry about. Sooyoung kissed her on the forehead this time, then moved down to her nose, and finally ended on her lips. A kiss that made her buzz on the inside and filled her with warmth.

“I think I liked you since I first saw you,” Sooyoung confessed. And this time Jinsol believed her without needing any proof.

The two had finally found their happy ending.

"Hey, show me what you brought me from your trip!" Sooyoung suddenly pulled back and got off the bed.

She was jumping like a child on Christmas morning and Jinsol had wanted to unpack later, but how could she when Sooyoung was being all cute? So Jinsol dragged herself out of bed and towards her suitcase.

"You know," Jinsol began, "you never told me what happened to you at last semester's party when you waited outside my room for me to get back."

If Sooyoung thought Jinsol would just give her a present without having to work for it, she was wrong. _What?_ _Old habits die hard!_ Jinsol liked to be a little mean with her from time to time.

"Would you look at the time?" Sooyoung looked down at her wrist, _she didn't even have a watch._ "The day's almost over and you haven't signed-in, have you? Let's go."

Jinsol was quick to catch her by the shirt and pull her back. She wasn't going to let her go that easily. "So Joy is in my Book Club and she was _also_ the one that hosted the party at Red Beta..."

Sooyoung didn't like where this was going.

"And there's this girl in her sorority called Nayeon _— ack!"_

Sooyoung kicked her to get away.

"I hate you!" She ran out of their room, face completely red.

Jinsol didn't waste any time in going after her. She didn't look like it but she was the faster one between the two. Sooyoung was just down the hall, rounding the corner at full speed.

"Sooyoungie, don't leave! We weren't together yet, it's okay!" She laughed loudly

Jinsol practically died when Joy told her what happened. Besides finally getting together with Sooyoung, that was probably the second highlight of her summer. No wonder Sooyoung couldn't find the words to tell her. If that ever happened to her she'd just transfer schools and move cities. 

"I think it's really cute how you screamed my name when another girl made you come!" Jinsol couldn't say that out loud without crying. "Baby, come back!"

"SHUT UP," Sooyoung screamed behind her mortified.

They didn't notice they ran past their dorm monitor, the Senior-in-charge having witnessed everything. She had gotten intel from last year's monitor to watch out for those two and everything she heard was confirmed in less than fifteen minutes.

Seunghee is black-listing those two at once! She was trying to be cool but this was beyond scandalous! A sock on the door was not going to cut it (she should get some holy water instead). Something told her this would only be the beginning.

_"I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU!"_

_"IT'S OKAY. IF THAT HAPPENS WE'LL JUST GET BACK TOGETHER!"_

People had started to come out of their rooms, wanting to see what all the commotion outside was about. School hadn't even started and it was already madness. But that was a given when Jung Jinsol and Ha Sooyoung were involved. 

_"SOOYOUNGIE, I LOVE YOU!"_

_"I FUCKING HATE YOU!"_

Yup. The two had finally found their happy ending.

**Author's Note:**

> Is this where people leave their twitter? I like girl groups:
> 
> @snsdtwinkle


End file.
